Jesus is All I need

wowzers

2011-04-14T23:10:00.001-07:00

a. its been a long time since I posted anything here
b. I am almost ready to graduate
c. God is pretty amazing
d. I just got through hell week only by His power
e. Accepted into Grad school and decision pretty much made
f. Here in the power of Christ I stand
g. Spring Break starts now
h. God is good all the time!!!!
i. AMEN!!!!

What to do....

2011-01-12T18:17:00.000-08:00

So question,

What do you do with homosexuality??? As a christian I do believe it is wrong but how do I come to that conclusion based on the bible, besides the section in Romans 1? And while I know it exists in Leviticus, why would we choose to follow that law and not the others that exist in that book.

If one were to have a discussion about why it is wrong biblically, what would that look like in the modern and liberal world that one lives in??

I seriously do want to know....it's something that has been on my heart for quite awhile now.

Simple and Sweet

2010-12-16T11:32:00.001-08:00

Moving on in a way to this http://nicoleyost.tumblr.com/
Not that i still won't post here but there is a simplicity to this newness that i rather enjoy!!

So simple and sweet!!! A heart of dreams!!

Living more than one separate life......

2010-11-28T13:56:00.002-08:00

Today I am in this hugely contemplative mood......so much so that I am taking time away from cleaning and putting away clothes to write whats on my mind, before all of it is gone.....perhaps its because its a holiday weekend and I have had all the time in the world to think since Wednesday morning, perhaps it's because I have seen a max of 3 people in the last 4 days, and perhaps it's because more time alone, and more time sleeping than is my normal quota. Regardless.....it's thanksgiving time, and it will soon be Christmas break (3 weeks!!), and while I cannot wait to go home, I am also realizing how quickly time here is going....and it leaves me feeling weirdly contemplative and kind of sad....so here is a glimpse into the ramblings of my brain....

sometimes i feel like I live 2 or 3 completely separate lives...and its a strange feeling

The last several weeks, I feel like I have only been doing enough to get by, and to keep on living, I haven't spent much time with friends, other than my roommates, and even that has been limited. My life has been so consumed by homework, and class, and internship, and work, and trying to get enough sleep, that I feel like everything is slipping through my fingers like sand, and I can't seem to be able to grab a hold of anything. I am realizing that I haven't taken enough pictures, I haven't taken in enough chapel or class, I haven't given enough hugs, I haven't stepped outside of my box enough, and its almost to late for any of that to be done. I am realizing that many of these moments here, will be many last moments and it makes me sad. I have loved going to school here at APU, and I have loved living on the west coast, and I have loved living close to LA. But I don't feel like I have taken advantage of those things like I should have and lived up those experiences like I wish I did. Often I find myself in a place of complaining about the ever abundant homework, and the professor I don't like, and the weather that's too cold, and the friends I never have time for and the home that I miss. But in reality I am quickly realizing that those things are so quickly slipping through my fingers and this all is a once in a lifetime experience and what I am going to do with it in the short time that God has granted it to me, complain or rejoice??? And maybe this feeling is in part, due to the fact that instead of having 4 years here, I have only had 2. While I don't regret going to community college for 2 years and having that paid off, however, I wish that i could have had this experience for 4 years. But what I have is the next 6 months.....

Sometimes I wish I could live here for many more years, and to continue in this life that I have been living. But I think more than anything, its because it's comfortable to me and anything else will be new and scary and NOT comfortable. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I hate change, unless of course I make the change and I am comfortable with it. So now that I am in my senior year with one semester almost done and only 1 more to follow....here comes change, whether I like it or not, and there is nothing I can do about it. I think my mom is probably right, I would stay in school forever because I like school, and because it would mean that I don't have to face life. But it's time for me to face the change, I can't stop it from coming, it will march steadily towards me, while I march towards it in only 160 days to the tune of Pomp and Circumstance. So instead of being sad, that I will have to leave this beautiful place, what will I do with the moments that I have left, and the time that I have left, and the once in a lifetime friends that God has granted me. What will I do that will bring glory to the One who has for now, given me this. I must seize those moments that come my way and I must jump on the opportunities, since they might just be my last.

In no way, take this to mean that I don't want to graduate, I DO!!! After 4 years of school, I can't believe that its all coming true and that I will granted a Bachelors Degree in Social Work. I can't wait for that day May 7th, 2011!!!! But I am just realizing that I don't want to be so wrapped up in that day, and in the afterwards, that I miss all the beautiful pictures that God has yet to place before me. I think many of us seniors, would outwardly say that we can't wait until graduation, but inside we groan at the thought of having to leave what we love, and missing out on a life that has been good to us, and having to face reality for the first time in our lives....or maybe it's just me, who has these random thoughts. Regardless I am excited about the prospect of getting my Masters in Social Work and going to Grad school, at a place that only God knows where. I am excited about pursuing internships after that graduation, and working in a third world country, doing relief and development work, just like my dream has always been. And I am hopeful about pursuing photography that I can then use as a means of advocating for people, and children, and families, and communities, and villages, and countries, and nations that the world will finally sit up and take notice of these people. That's my dream, and I can't wait to pursue that. I can't wait for the day when I don't have homework, when my weekends are truly my weekends, when sleep is something that happens regularly, when holiday breaks get to be holiday breaks and not homework sessions, when a place to live is truly mine without a lot of rules and stipulations, when I get to own a dog, when life is not easier or grander or better or worse, its just simply......different.

So can I be happy and sad, contemplative and excited all at once......I think I can.....Happy for what life is and where I am at, sad to be leaving this wonderful place, contemplative of lost and unclaimed and yet to come moments, and excited for all that God has in store for me, and the places I will go, and the things I will see. In 160 days, I know that I will be walking down an isle with all of my fellow graduates, but on day 161 I have no clue where life will take me. Will I stay here for another year for grad school, or will I be moving on from here. Where will grad school be? Only God knows where. Will it be New York City, or Los Angeles, Boston, or North Carolina, Cleveland or Cincinnati, Florida or Georgia, St. Louis or Chicago, Texas or Arizona. The options are plentiful and only God knows where...

If any of that makes any sense maybe now you will understand why sometimes I feel like I am living 2 or 3 completely different lives, and I am happy and I am sad all at the same time. What did I get from this? I will be excited for the future, loving the life I now life, thankful for opportunities that come my way, rejoicing in the small things, and not taking for granted all that God has, for now, given to me!! And now its back to cleaning and putting away clothes before all of the roommates come home!!

It's a new day....It's a new time....It's a new year....

2010-09-20T20:39:00.000-07:00

Yes, this is the first blog post in a while... school is back in session now, and I have had to say goodbye to carefree days, days of shorts and tanks, days spent with mom and my family, days spent sleeping in, days spent reading fiction for fun, days spent doing whatever, days spent with Kinzie, days at the fair, days at Crossing, and days spent blissfully in summer.... Instead I had to say Hello again, to school, to new transfer leader friends, to orientation weekend, to new students and their frantic parents, to the crazy move-in rush, to people all over my beautiful campus, to lines to get into chapel and lines in the caff and lines at the post-office and just generally lines everywhere, and going to mandatory new student meetings which i never thought I would have to do again, to crazy transfer events, to school actually starting and bringing with it homework and books and papers, to working and making money again, to getting to know new roommates, to starting an internship in which I need 400 hours before May, to making many new friends and connecting with old ones, and I said HELLO! to Senior Year..... all of this and more I have said hello to again in the last 3 weeks.
I was dreading coming back here. I had this amazing great summer, where God showed up and He blessed my life way more than I even deserve, and I grew in Him and in my faith and in my church, and in my friendships and I didn't want to leave all of that behind. But I also knew that God knew what He was doing and I knew I had to come back. It was only another year right?
And the most amazing thing about all of it was that God showed up here too! I don't know why I didn't think He would, or why I thought my time here would be of any less value than my time spent at home. But I have been incredibly blessed since coming back to APU. Everywhere I look I can see the hand of God in my life and the crazy part is that so much of it was set in motion last spring and was only waiting for my arrival.
This semester I am a transfer leader for new transfer students, and while I was happy to be one i wasn't jumping up and down for it. But I got here and the leader went on a retreat up in Big Bear (amazing place) for 2 days and it was so inspiring to develop those friendships and then when move-in day came getting to help all those new students move in and get them through orientation and all the events that happen and all the craziness of a new school reminded me of when I was in their shoes only a year ago and it was like God was saying "see look this is why you came back, this is why I put you here" and I love being a transfer leader and being that person for my transfers if they need.
This year I am living in a special living environment called the Discipleship House. And basically I have 20+ new people to call my friends and we are walking through life together. Which means once a week dinners and other events together and spending time in different spiritual disciplines and learning how to be a better follower of Jesus. Right now we are on meditation, and really it's no easy feat.
Plus I have 3 amazing roommates who I know are going to bless my life tremendously in this next year. I love them already!!
And now after 3 years of school, I get to say that I am a Senior!! One always dreams what it will be like to say that, and honestly I feel no different than if I were a sophomore or a junior. Its hard to envision that in only 9 months I will have my Bachelors in Social Work and that I will all of a sudden be an adult in a way. WOW!! I am not so sure I am ready for that. One part of my is super excited to graduate.... and the other part of me is really sad to have to say goodbye to all of this life and all of these friends, cause actually it's a pretty great place to be and a pretty great life.
ALSO, I started my internship last week. I am working with developmental disabilities and working on getting them paired up with the right services they need. I think I will like it and I am really excited to see where it goes....it's just the getting there that is hard for me. But 16 out of 400 hours down!!
And yes I had a birthday and yes I am another year older.... but more on that later....
Right now it's off to Senior Chapel...another Yeah and bonus for finally being a Senior!!!

Grace and Peace!!

Update....

2010-07-29T10:46:00.000-07:00

The Boundless Summer Challenge hasn't stopped.....I promise....I just need to type up the posts sometime....:)

In the meantime I am memorizing Romans 12:1-13...it is not an easy feat....but by the grace of God....And it will be one more thing to hide away in my heart and to allow it to transform my life...

"I appeal to you therefore, brothers by the mercies of God to present your bodies as a living sacrifice holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to the image of this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good, and acceptable and perfect. For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgement, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members and the members do not all have the same function, so we though many, are one body in Christ and individually members of one another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness. Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer, contribute to the needs to the saints and seek to show hospitality."

Boundless Summer Challenge #8

2010-07-26T11:04:00.002-07:00

Boundless Summer Challenge #8

Romans 12:3-8

AHHH another memorization....that was honestly my thought. But here I am again memorizing another portion of Romans 12. But while its hard to memorize I do feel that it is something that I can do, by the grace of God. I know that Satan would want to me to look and say that no I can't do it because I am horrible at memorizing things, but God says to hide his word in my heart and so I will. No matter what it takes. And this time around I don't have the excuse of 5 different verses that I have to memorize for VBS. And if my little group of 4 year-olds can memorize one verse from Proverbs in 5 days I think I can do this!! There that was my little pep talk to myself. :)

Romans 12:3-8.... “For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to thing of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we though many, are one body in Christ and individually members of one another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.”

I love the fact that God has individuality within His body. If we were all the same then life would just be boring, I think. But he also has a caution for us to not let it get to our heads, which is way to easy to do. I think the phrase that stuck out to me the most was the one that says “ having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them.” God doesn't want us sitting around waiting for things to happen. He has saved us, he has given us each a measure of grace, so what then are we going to do with it. Sit around and wait for opportunity to knock or go out there and be intentional in our gifts of community.

Boundless Summer Challenge #7

2010-07-26T10:25:00.002-07:00

Boundless Summer Challenge #7

Relationships from another perspective...

All around me I have seen relationships, but probably the most influential one in my 22.75+ years of living has been that of my parents 29 years of marriage. I never really got to watch my grandparents marriage as my grandfather died when I was 3 months old. I feel like my mom has the most to share and I feel like what she shares is probably the most important and the most biblical.

The one thing that my mom said is that life is not all about you. And that in a marriage it is all about reverencing your husband and giving him the honor that he deserves as a man. It is these things that has made my parents marriage stronger and better and I want a marriage like theirs some day.

Community....

Romans 12:1-8 and "We, Though Many, are one Body in Christ," by John Piper

I never really realized just how vital and just how important Christian community is to our lives. But reading Romans 12:1-8 I see just how much emphasis God is placing on the others in our lives and doing the one anothers with each other. I hadn't thought about for awhile that when I trusted in Christ as my Savior there was a union that is established between me and Christ in such a way that everything in Christ that can be shared will be shared with me. Everything that he is, and everything that he has can be shared will be shared with me except for his diety and his unique God attributes.

Secondly my individual identity, as God has created me to be- cannot be known except in serving you as I rely upon Christ. And Yours cannot be known except in serving others in reliance on Christ. It is such a counter-cultural idea that we are not our own really we are God's and we are a part of His body. But how much better is our christian life when we have this intentional christian community all around us.

I love this idea that unity of the body of Christ is created in Jesus Christ. And that my individuality is valued in Christ- and it is discovered in the body of Christ.

At the end of the day I want to stand in awe of Christ , I want to love Christ deeper, I want to admire Christ more, and I want to follow Christ and enjoy making much of Christ above all things.

Boundless Summer Challenge #6

2010-07-26T10:24:00.000-07:00

Boundless Summer Challenge #6
Essentials in a Marriage Partner....:)

In the list of essentials it is the Biblical list that is the only true one that even matters.... I don't believe that there is one right choice but good and bad choices. Something that is backed up in these articles and in 1 Cor 1:1-9. Primarily as a Christian, we should not even consider a relationship that would not feed my primary relationship with God.
Some qualities in a guy that I see as essential are things like
-must be a believer and be growing (
-has to be willing and able to provide for his family
-be honest, good reputation, and strive for the qualities of a spiritual leader (Acts 6:3, 1 Timothy 3:1-7, and Titus 1:6-9).
Measuring a man against this list and realizing he will grow, if he begins to meet these things then he could be considered marriageable.... even if he is shorter than me, or younger than me, or bald, or whatever other idea the culture around us has told us we should be looking for.
Its not settling, its being decisive and making a Godly choice.

Boundless Summer Challenge #5

2010-07-21T09:52:00.003-07:00

Boundless Summer Challenge #5
I am on a role now getting caught up!!.....I did this one over the weekend....But I am just now writing about it.....:)

Today's challenge is about the kind of friend that you are, and it involved talking to a friend either in person or on the phone. You have no idea how difficult it was actually.....Because A) I hate talking on the phone...especially about serious stuff, and B) I hate asking about how I am doing as a friend to my friend....kind of awkward if you ask me...:)
But I had the prime opportunity this weekend when my friend and I were driving together and we had time to talk! She initially said she didn't know, but then we got to talking about ways that I felt I could improve as a friend and we talked at length about both of us being better friends.
I know that I need to listen more to what my friends are saying and to be more in-tune with their lives and where they are going and what they are doing. I need to focus the conversation more on them than on me. Do you even know how hard that it is to do without thinking about it....
Lord let me be a person who is more focused on YOU and that You would enlighten my conversations.

http://www.boundlessline.org/2010/07/boundless-summer-challenge-task-5.html

Boundless Summer Challenge #4

2010-07-21T09:52:00.000-07:00

Boundless Summer Challenge #4
Yes. I am still many days behind in this challenge but now that school is done maybe it will be time for catching up....I have looked at most of the challenges that I have yet to complete....I just need to do them and write about them!!

So Challenge #4 is all about love and respect. And communicating respect to the men in my life.
Ephesians 5:33 says “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” I'm not married so it got me to thinking about how this could possibly relate to me. Then I realized that I have three different men in the close proximity of my life and how do I respect them? As the first chapter of Love and Respect talks about.
I have a dad and two younger brothers. I don't feel that it is incredibly hard to respect my dad (thanks for the example mom!) Although I am rarely perfect at showing him the respect (I think just last night I snarked at him for telling me to hurry up :)) But still I know that my dad loves me. I think that all of the things that he has done for me are proof of that. For all the times he has worked on my computer, or fixed my car or the billions of other things. Showing my dad respect is usually not that hard. Where I really struggle to show respect, and where I am just now learning I need to is to both of my brothers. Often I am left feeling like because I am the oldest, and yet a girl I have something that I still need to prove to them. Who knows, maybe I would like a little respect to. But I am realizing that in this verse Paul isn't saying to show them respect when the show they love me or that they respect me. He is saying to do it anyways. I need to value more what they say. Pay more attention to their lives. And respect what they do. No they don't have to do what I think they should, but from here on out I will show them respect, by not talking down to them, by acknowledging what they say, by being excited for their lives. And only then will I begin to get the love and the respect that I desire deep down from them.
Its not an easy task for me, as I ALWAYS have to stop and think before I speak.....but for the GRACE of GOD here go I.

Boundless Summer Challenge #3

2010-07-19T10:44:00.001-07:00

#3 Romans 12:9-13

So I set out to write this days ago....only it got deleted before I finished....and at the time my thoughts were a jumbled mess...now many days later and a little frustration at myself for not staying on top of this challenge I am back to write #3...especially since I accomplished the task days ago.....

The challenge this time was to memorize Romans 12:9-13. “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer, contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

Well I am simply horrible at memorization....especially in the week when I also have to memorize 5 other verses for VBS. So this was a challenge for me in more ways than one.

While I was memorizing these verses, I began to really read what it said, instead of just letting it become rote. I love the language that Paul uses here, words like genuine, and abhor, and outdo, and zeal. God is truly calling us to live radical lives.

If you look at this in the view of relationship, God is calling us to live very different lives, particularly in our relationships, than the world around lives. He says that first and foremost our love must be genuine. Anything less is not something that God has called us to and we should not even be having those relationships where love is not real and honest: genuine. The second line God says to ABHOR what is evil. I feel like this is interesting wording, particularly if you apply it to the relationships in your life. I mean how many times do I really stand up for what is wrong/evil. The dominant view of relationships is messed up and there are many elements of them that are sinful and wrong and God calls us to abhor those things, not just sit by and watch them happen. In our relationships we are to love one another with brotherly affection which is to not lead each other on, or lead others into sin, we are to OUTDO one another in the honor that we show. In a way its almost as if He is saying to be above the status quo. We are to show ZEAL. Be FERVENT. REJOICE in hope. Be PATIENT in hard things. Be CONSTANT in prayer. HELP others needs. And show HOSPITALITY.

And all of these things if done right and done well in our relationships will give all the glory and all the honor to where it is supposed to be- on God, to the praise of the glory of His grace.

Boundless Summer Challenge #2

2010-07-13T20:30:00.000-07:00

Biblical Dating
As a person who is happily and contentedly single with no prospect in the near future of being something otherwise....it might seem a bit odd to be writing about dating especially since I have no real experience in such....but the thing is....I have seen ALOT of relationships in me life...some great (like my parents 29 years) and some not so great.....You watch and observe enough like I have for the past 22 years and you begin to see what you want and what you do want in a relationship...whats real and whats not. While I don't want that relationship now necessarily....knowing what I do want and what it is that makes something great makes it possible to sit by and be content to wait on God and be happy with my life as it is. Knowing that I am preparing for the right relationship and not merely settling for the standard of the American culture makes every second worth the wait and the work. What follows might be lofty ideas of what is good and right....but I wouldn't mind shooting for the stars and placing my life in the hands of a very capable Father God! If anything you read here intrigues you, I wholly recommend you read the http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/Boundless_BiblicalDating.pdfin its entirety. Or at least the parts that most interest you. What follows will be shorts pieces of each article that I found the most intriguing and influential on my life.

If the sole purpose of my life is to bring glory to God and to glorify Him in all things (which I believe it is) how best does this play out in the relationships in my life. I also believe in the sufficiency of the Bible and that it contains all that I need for life and godliness. What follows is my taking on this thing we like to call dating and what it could really mean in my life....
Romans 13:8-14 calls us to love others and to work for their souls good and not look to please ourselves. In my view the concept of biblical dating versus modern dating does not necessarily seek to bring that glory to the individuals but that it can point to a greater and a better....Christ Jesus. Biblical dating does not taking into account really my needs, my wants, my emotions and my desires. Biblical dating approaches relationships from the perspective of ministry and service and bringing glory to God. If biblical dating is about "being" the right person and not about "finding" the right person, am I being the right person to serve my future spouses needs and to be a God glorifying wife.
In the article to Kiss or not to kiss I was introduced to some old and some new concepts...all that only strengthened what I thought I might have already believed. Song of Solomon 2:7 clearly states to not arouse or awaken love before it so desires. The older I get the more I understand this and how true it is. I do believe along with the author that the Bible teaches that all sexual activity outside of marriage is sin, and all romantically oriented physical activity is sexual activity. Why would I want to begin something that I cannot have, at least for now, or maybe never. Every believer is my brother and sister in Christ and I am to act and to treat them accordingly. Romans 12:9-13 says that "love must be sincere... be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves." 1 COr. 13:4-7 says that "love is not self seeking" Who am I seeking to serve, to bring glory to when I step outside of the bounds of what God says is right and holy within marriage, not singleness. In the end: God hates sin, all sin. Sin is destructive to me and to others, and it grieves the very heart of God. But He sent us His Son and did give us grace and hope free from sin. 1 John 1:9
1 Cor. 6:18 calls me to flee from sexual immorality. How can I best pursue that to which God in His word has called me to? He has called me to pursue holiness and purity in my life. It leaves little room for intentional flirtation with any sin, sexual or otherwise. How can I bring glory to God when I am chasing down every kiss and following after every romantically oriented activity. Who does this serve....God or me?
In the article “Are you ready to date” I wholeheartedly agree with the author....there is a reason that I am still single :). The author lists several points to being ready to date as I am trying to be (or prepare to be) a godly spouse even as I try to find a godly spouse. All singles who profess Christ and aspire to marriage- even as a possibility- have this responsibility. Step 1 is to reflect, before God on my spiritual walk and maturity in Christ. Step 2 is to know if I am at a place in my life in which I am ready
and able to marry. I would agree with the author also that if you can't happily picture yourself married within a year, you are not in a position to date (none of this 5 year dating stuff for me!!). Third I must look to God's word to decide the kind of person to date. Gen 2, 1 Cor 11:7-9, and Eph 5 talks somewhat about the idea of men initiating and women responding.... Even though they are referring to marriage it is wise and right to set up patterns that will serve you well in marriage, especially if one accepts the premise that the purpose of dating is to find a marriage partner. I need to do more in my life, while still enjoying my singleness to prepare for the right kind of marriage....the kind that honors and brings glory to God. In this model, women are to respond. And honestly that is the place that I want to be in my life. As a single woman, I need to be learning what it is to let a man assume spiritual leadership in the relationship and to respond to that leadership. Ultimately, for me this means learning to trust he goodness and the sovereignty of God.
In “Just Friends” the author talked about something that I had never really put that much thought into and that is how intimate of a friendship with someone of the opposite sex is OK. While I found myself generally agreeing with what the author said, I also feel that I need to dig deeper into this topic to better understand it. His point was that intimate friendships between men and women almost always produce confusion and frustration for one of the parties involved. These kinds of relationships tend to involve the sharing of many aspects of each others daily lives and routines. They tend to involve much of the type of intimacy and companionship involved in- and meant for-marriage. In the vast majority of these types of relationships, one of the parties involved either began the “friendship” with romantic feelings for the other person or develops them along the way. Looking at some recent movie trends like in “Valentines Day” or “Made of Honor” I see this trend becoming more true and evident making me want to agree with the author. One would also have to look at how others view that friendship. And what about a potential boyfriend or girlfriend...how would they feel about it?? Intimate friendships discourage the pursuit of the grown-up, God-intended outlet for martial desires- marriage. But all that being said...dating or courting relationships ideally do grow out of friendship among co-laborours in the Gospel. And God has called us to live the Christian life as a community of believers...look at 1 Timothy 5.
The next several articles in this piece on Biblical Dating dealt with the Relationship itself, from “The Early Stages” to “Growing in Intimacy” and to “Tips for Engagement” there were many worthwhile thoughts to be pursued and while I did read them and I did find valuable things in them for the purpose of this writing and because my life is not there right now, and because I do not desire to come off saying I know something when in reality, all I really know is what I would want and not what is reality, I do have this to say about this relationship section. My goal, and anyone's goal in dating as Christians is to save martial levels of interaction for marriage itself, to care well for the other person's soul, to be different from the world, and to bring glory to God.
The author of all of these article, Scott Croft, suggests that people should be married within a year of starting to date. Personally I don't think its that bad of an idea really. As I already talked about it a little bit earlier. Here is why he thinks this: longer realationships are only begging for trouble to come knocking. We can defraud our brother or sister in a dating context by showing or encouraging a level of intimacy, either emotionally of physically that the Bible reserves for marriage and marriage only. If we act like we are married before we've made that commitment, we are defrauding each other. To put the idea together.... “not acting married before your married”
And finally the most intriguing and yet “i don't know what I think” article of them all....”Settling”. Settling will perhaps make you happier in the long run since you won't become disillusioned with broken expectations. Settling is a willingness to date or marry someone who clearly fails to meet all of the major criteria on your “list” to the extent you dreamed about when picturing your spouse or doesn't appear to be your “soulmate” Hollywood is not real help here as so many of out expectations and desires are only in the movies anyways....i mean “blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic, Australian accent” come on....pretty sure that doesn't exist 99% of the time!! :) Not settling depicts 3 things, a selfish premise in that we misunderstand the Bibles idea of love, everybody settles in that I am a sinner, and I will marry a sinner no person I marry will be perfection in any way, and third nobody settles in that God has given us a gift in marriage when we deserve hell and God has designed this gift as one that just gets better with age.

Read the articles in their entirety...and I hope and pray that they will bless you as much as they did me... I leave you with this: John 14:15... “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.”

Boundless Summer Challenge #1

2010-07-12T10:37:00.002-07:00

Hey guys....

So this ministry that I really look up and that often offers articles that inspire as a young person in their 20's dealing with issues of faith, and school, and church, and family.....the ministry is Boundless....this summer, for the next month they are having a challenge where each day will bring a new "task" to be completed...The goal of this challenge is to be pushed outside of my own comfort zone and to be challenged to grow in my faith. On the side is an Apple IPad also up for grabs, which IS a nice bonus besides a stronger faith in my Savior.
Summer can often become a time that while my ambitions are good and large, I very quickly become lax and my ambitions to grow in my faith quickly fail. My prayer is that God will use this challenge to draw me closer to Him and that He will lead me to LOVE Him more fully every day.
I would greatly appreciate your prayers on my behalf as I take up this challenge....and that my faith in God will grow even stronger and that I will better learn to lean on Him in all things. Pray for God's blessings for everyone who is taking up this challenge and that all of us will be challenged in our faith and in our Savior. Pray that each one of us will have the patience, the strength, and the perseverance that we need and that we will each have an open heart to be able to see what God has in store for us.

I would also love for any of you to join me in this challenge. You have until Monday the 12th to join up! Together we can hold each other accountable and our relationship together will grow, and we can encourage each other.... To those of you I shared the event with, it would be really great if you could 'like" this note!

Thanks guys and God's blessings to all of you this summer.

By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.
—1 John 4:9-18

2010-06-02T13:23:00.001-07:00

Can I just take this moment and say that NEXT 2010 was astounding in so many God-honoring ways. That what I love about Sovereign Grace Ministries, the seek to honor God, Glorify the Cross, and Present the Gospel. And it was so clearly evident all weekend long.....

I really want to write about this some more, and I hope I get the chance to, but for now you can go check out the messages here: http://www.thisisnext.org/resources/

We had Joshua Harris on "What Are You Built On?" Mark Dever on Christ Work Accomplished and Applies, Kevin DeYoung on Scripture, C.J. Mahaney on Sanctification, D.A. Carson on God, Kevin DeYoung a second time on The Church, and Jeff Purswell on the End Times. All solid and convicting messages and I encourage you to check them out. http://www.thisisnext.org/resources/ I hope to write more about this but for now I have to finish packing and load the car up to that I can catch my 10:55 pm flight out of LAX tonight!!!

I will into Dayton at 9:08 AM tomorrow and it cannot come fast enough!!!

SO I will see many of you in just a short period of time!!!

Blessings to you all!!

Hosanna in the highest...GOD IS GOOD

2010-05-20T14:43:00.000-07:00

AH, so much has happened in the last week, the last month, the last semester, and really the last year....so much to give all the glory to God, as I have slowly come to realize the blessings in even the hard things....as I see them work for a much greater glory than my own....what follows are my encounters with God in my everyday life.......

!!GOD IS GOOD!!

I am most psyched about coming home for the summer....I do love my life here...but I am ready for home....:) I will be home 2 weeks from right now!!! I cannot wait!!! I am flying out of LAX on Wednesday June 2nd at 10:55 pm and I will arrive at Dayton International Airport at 9:08 am on Thursday June 3rd!!! It will be a grand day!!!

!!GOD IS GOOD!!

In particular because I will get to meet for the very first time, a little girl who has completely stolen my heart, and I am pretty sure that she's got me wrapped around her finger already!! Meet my niece, Kinzie Blaze Yost born May 11, 2010

I love you so much already!!

!!GOD IS GOOD!!

A few weeks ago, right in the midst of the chaos of moving, I received this amazing opportunity...

you see there had been this contest on Josh Harris's website to win free registration to NEXT. All one had to do was promote the conference. I had already said there was no way I could go....school had 1 week left, money, plane ticket, conference registration, hotel....and just to much going on....Thinking I wouldn't win, but the conference is worth it, so I just decided to promote it anyways....well a week later.....i WON FREE REGISTRATION!!!

While talking with my best friend....and looking at plane tickets to Baltimore....I decided to just do it and trust God with the details!!!

So over Memorial Day weekend, you will find me on an airplane and then hanging out with good friends, good conversations, good speaking, good music, and just generally having an amazing time in Baltimore....I am SUPER STOKED about going.....

!!GOD IS GOOD!!

and God blessed me with a plane ticket on Priceline last night....not the most ideal times and such but cheaper than the going rate, although more than I had wished to pay...but how many opportunities in one's life do you really get like this??So I am saving my money...eating lots of PB&J, soup, and mac and cheese...and somehow I got this really bad canker sore which meant I had to watch what I eat...no acid, no spicy, and soft food...in essence no chipotle from across the street....but i am saving the money!!! and I was able to keep my student worker job even after the semester ended and many students have to find other summer work....

and I WILL trust God with the small stuff, like now paying for this ticket.... and live and love in the moment.

[We all base our lives on what we believe God is like, but is what we believe about God true?]

!!GOD IS GOOD!!

The last time I wrote, I was in the throes of THE worst semester of my educational career....for some reason Spring Semester Junior Year, Social Work at APU is incredibly intense. There was ALOT of out of the classroom work to be done, a lot of group work to be done, and a lot of papers to be written, particularly the reflection and research kind..... It was pretty much non stop all 16 weeks long....never time to relax, never time to breathe.....in particular the next to last week had about 70 pages of paper due all within 4 days time....a few 10 pagers, and a 20 pager, and 1 pagers thrown in the mix.....

So i think I spent more time in the library this week than I did any other place. Thankfully it was open until 3 AM and I was there until then, and then some.....the week resulted in more than 1 all nighter and i think I got about 7 hours of sleep all week....

But I made it!! and I got through finals week....and now it is all behind me!!

!!GOD IS GOOD!!

Remarkably enough....I also got the best grades that I have ever gotten in all my semesters of college.... hmmm it does make me wonder if my theory is true...that I do produce my best work under pressure.... I still am lacking 1 official grade, but I think I know what I have so it looks like I am walking away with a 3.7 GPA for the semester, and a 3.44 overall...I am happy with that!!

!!GOD IS GOOD!!

Along the same line of grades, is the Dean's List that I made it onto for last semester...I didn't even know it until my mom told me!!Made my momma proud which is always fun to do!!

!!GOD IS GOOD!!

So in the end.... all of this to say....that life....

its never easy, its rarely how we would want it to be....but the hard stuff...its pushes us to rely on, and to trust God even more....and if it weren't for Him, I would not even exist.... He has worked an amazing thing in my life...I can't wait to see what He has in store next!!

!!!GOD IS GOOD, PRAISE JESUS!!!

I see the king of glory
Coming on the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes
The whole earth shakes

I see his love and mercy

Washing over all our sin

The people sing

Hosanna

Hosanna in the highest

I see a generation
Rising up to take their place
With selfless faith
With selfless faith

I see a near revival

Stirring as we pray and seek

We're on our knees

Hosanna

Hosanna in the highest

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours

Everything I am for your kingdoms cause

As I go from nothing to

Eternity

Hosanna in the highest

2010-05-04T10:26:00.000-07:00

This is an amazing conference to attend. Words will never really fully describe all that happend when i went 2 years ago. But lets just say that it was life changing. Given the opportunity and given the chance. I would be there again, in a heartbeat. God changed my life through this conference.

But even if I can't go....you should....you never know....you might walk away a changed person....for the better!!!

www.thisisnext.org

Next 2010 Promotional Video from Sovereign Grace Ministries on Vimeo.

Of Course...

2010-04-24T22:26:00.000-07:00

OF COURSE:

Of course I only have 39 more days until I leave for home!

Of course I only have 2 weeks of school left- including finals!

Of course I have allergies now of all times

Of course I have the most intense week ahead of me

Of course everything is due in 1 week

Of course I don't have any of it done yet

Of course I have a 1 page and a 10 page paper due Monday

Of course I have a 10 page paper, a presentation, evals and a video due Tuesday

Of course I have a 1 page and a 20 page paper due Wednesday

Of course I have a presentation on Thursday

Of course thats not even in finals week

Of course Friday is the last day of class besides finals week

Of course I am almost a senior

Of course I will most likely pull an all-nighter

Of course I will trust in God

Of course I wish I could spend some time in the sun

Of course I miss home

Of course I want to go to my home church

Of course I can't wait for summer

Of course I will choose joy!

Of course I have to be moved out of this apartment in 2 weeks

Of course I miss the beach

Of course I can't wait until my niece is born

Of course I am ready for my momma's cooking

Of course I am gonna need a summer job

Of course "He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength"

Of course I will trust in God as my sustainer

Of course I am gonna stretch out here and ask for your prayers that God will get me through this week and that through it all I will bring Him the glory, honor, and praise that He deserves!

Of course my friends here are pretty great...we'll get each other through this week!!

PRAY FOR ME AND ALL OF US....FINISH STRONG!!!

Only for a moment

2010-04-17T10:48:00.000-07:00

Life is still just as crazy busy as it has been all semester....just because one project ends doesn't mean life slows down....School is getting down to the wire now....Only 2 weeks of class left....along with about 60+ pages of paper due sometime in that time....Have I started yet you ask...only about 8 pages in I say....Yes, I think I will be seeing many 3 am mornings in the library this coming week and maybe 1 or 2 all nighters.

Oh but such is my life, and it is only for a small moment in time and then its on to May term classes and days at the beach and then HOME to my beautiful family for the summer, and yes a few more classes,and some work, and a new BABY NIECE that I can't wait to meet, and hanging out with all of my marvelous friends that I miss quite a lot.

But I can't wait to be home, as much as I love my life here....I also really do miss home. But God has been so good to me to grant me the peace that I needed to be able to go to school here and not become homesick....I guess when you are 22 it might be time to grow up and fly a little bit.

God has been teaching me so much about TRUST lately.... And I am an EPIC FAIL when it comes to relying solely on Him to meet all of my needs and desires. But here's the funny thing....when I stop trying, when I stop caring quite so much....those are the times that God seems to sweep in and doing this marvelous miraculous works and I am usually left astounded in the face of them, but in reality I should not be surprised because HE IS GOD after-all.....

He has worked out so much in my life....from giving me the power to get through an all-nighter and the day after, to healing roommate issues, to empowering me as a SOCIAL WORKER, to giving me some pretty amazing friends that I am only not getting to know, to giving me an internship that looks challenging but good, to giving me a different living situation next year that will allow me to grow, to giving me a leadership opportunity and the chance to share my passion for APU...

Yes this is my God....and how can I do anything less than PRAISE HIM....

and now its off to the library I go...until they close most likely...

2010-03-17T12:42:00.000-07:00

Life is crazy....Life is busy....Spring break starts in exactly 9 days and it can't come soon enough....Such is the cost for being a Junior Social Work major at APU!!!! But the sun is shining and the air is warm.....its a beautiful day to thank my Jesus!!!

I Promise.....

2010-01-09T21:09:00.000-08:00

I promise that an upcoming post will be in writing soon..... I have all these thoughts whirling around in my brain that i feel need to be put here....and I have had all of my christmas break to do it and here I am on the eve of my departure and have yet to write "that" post

Its been a great break. It has been great to be with my family both at home and at church. I love reconnecting with people and spending time with them and with my best friends. But alas....I have had my 3 favorite coffees, I have seen several of my really good friends, i have been back to church, i have been with my family, i have seen my sis in law pregnant, i have babysat more than once, i have embraced bitter cold, and i have walked through snow.....so i guess it is time to head back to school.....

But over break I have realized several things about myself, and i have read francis chan's book Crazy Love and even though i do not really believe in new years resolutions I am setting forth to make changes in my life.....and in this post I am making the promise to write it all here next time....so that my thoughts are no longer only mine to know, but for all of you who read this too..... I PROMISE!!!!

I'll be HOME for Christmas.....

2009-12-04T13:01:00.000-08:00

This is to tell you all that I am coming home soon!!! As much as i really really love it here and I know that this is the place that God has for me, I am really ready to come home. I need the time away, i need to be able to sleep, and rest, and relax...I need to see my family, i need a hug from my mom, my dad, my sisters, my best friends, and any other person, i love in my life, I need to recharge my life, i need to go to my own church, i need to see a small child or two and get to give them a hug, need to be with the people i love!!!!! i need to not have to grocery shop, have a dryer and dishwasher work right, eat my moms food, be able to do the things the way i always have..... and i need to not think...at all....about papers, and projects, and tests, and reading, and clients......
But i only have 1 more week of class, and 1 week of finals....and then....

DAYTON, OHIO, on FRIDAY DECEMBER 18, 2009 at 11:25 pm.....can not come fast enough....

and I hope I can see you all sometime while i am home...Love and miss you all...pray for me these last 14 days......
see you on the other side of the continental divide...... xoxo

FYI!!!

2009-10-18T13:50:00.000-07:00

Ah i guess it's time.....to write to all the lovely people that i miss back home....
i have been here well over a month.... in fact I have been here at APU for 6 weeks now....or 44 days if you want to look at it that way.... and honestly I absolutely love it here. God has been so incredibly good to me here. It doesn't hurt much that when i look at the temp at home it says its all of about 40* and here we had to run the AC yesterday....and today looks to be a gorgeous 80* Which reminds me often of one of the small reasons that i moved here in the first place!!!
My classes are great really....i love the faith integration that is in each class. I love the fact the our professors can easily talk about their faith and their church and all things faith related as a part of who they are. The actual social work major here only has about 5 or so professors that you will get regularly although the department just added a couple adjuncts. Right now the major is under 150 students in all 4 years so you get to know the people in your class level really well....i guess going from class to class will do that to you!!
My apartment and my roommates are also pretty great..... We love where we are living and we have a lot of fun together. We are all transfer students so we have that in common and we are all juniors so there is that too... one of them is also an social work major and she also just had a birthday a few weeks after mine and also turned 22. One is 21, and one is 20. So for the most part we get along well and we hang out together and do stuff together and generally have fun together. I would say for the most part most of us have bonded well. its fun!!! :)
I am also working about 20 hours a week. It is an on-campus job and i actually like it alot. It was completely a God thing that i even got the job. 2 of my roommates were actively pursing jobs and not having a ton of luck and i was half-halfheartedly doing it. The on campus jobs were really hard to come by this semester for some reason. So i saw this job opening at the IMT support desk and i applied on a Friday... probably a few hours later i got a phone call which i didn't see till later that night about a job in the distance learning office (which i did not apply for) and they wanted to do an interview sometime monday. I did not get the chance to call back until monday after chapel, i agreed to do the interview even though i had absolutely no idea what the job was. i had my interview with several of the people there at 2:00 on monday and later while i was sitting in my bible class...about 3:30...they called me and offered me the job. It was such a God thing for me to get this job that i had not pursued at all. God was good to me. I am really liking this job.Basically i do all things online class related for APU. Both graduate and undergraduate level. I get to incorporate things from the 2 extra classes i took last semester. Internet development, and into to Mac. although the work could be done without the Mac. Most days i work anywhere from 2.5-5 hours and its only Monday through Friday which is the best part after spending the last 2 years at walmart every weekend.....
Weekends are usually fun around here.... there is almost always something going on that you can do. Sometimes i feel as if i am busier now than i was when i was home in high school. maybe it makes a difference living on campus and having everything and everyone around you. but i love it!!! :) Most saturday mornings you will find me and at least one other roommate on a field playing co-ed intramural softball with people who are becoming our friends!! we are having fun with it...our team shirts that we made are tie-dye which is fun!! so far we have lost the 2 games we played and won the 2 games the other team forfeited. yep we are AMAZING!!!! but we have team spirit and we have fun!!!
Sundays are the one day that i begin to miss home and feel slightly depressed if you want to call it that. More than missing my own family i miss my church family. I miss the building, i miss the seating, i miss the worship, i miss the going-ons, i miss the sermons, i miss the people,i miss the nursery, i miss seeing my family in worship, i miss the kids i interacted with, i miss my wednesday night kids, and most of all i miss the sense of belonging that i felt always at Grace. I know that God has led me here, i know i have to stretch and grow but it is just hard. Sundays are the one day that i look and i say what in the world am i doing here? and then i have to remind myself that we all have to leap sometime. its just hard to leave the one thing that was always right in your life. I went to a church this morning where the pastor stepped down, and honestly i don't know if i want to get caught up in that. it was my second visit and i just don't know if that is where i want to go..... i actually didn't go to church the previous 2 sundays and it was last sunday as i was home studying all day that i realized how much church is a vital part of my week and no matter if i like the church or not it is not something that i can't just not do. even chapel here though you here greats like francis chan is not enough.... it doesn't help that even though my roomies are christians they either go home for the weekend or they choose not to go, which is ok, its their choice, but i hate going alone. I have found a friend though in a girl who lives below me. its just hard to know whats good and right....especially when nothing is like home. and these are the days when i miss everything OHIO the most.....
So i know this is very long and if i don't read....well i understand!!! but i tried to encompass all parts of my life!! I would love to hear from you all back home....

you can use chat and IM me at: nicole@goinx.com (love this)
you can keep up on Facebook
you can call or text or email
you can use snail mail
and finally i have uploaded pics to Picasa....

I hope that you are all doing well at home.... i would love to hear how life is treating you.... and please keep me in your prayers.... God is good truly!!!

GLORY TO GOD!!!

2009-09-04T07:00:00.000-07:00

I am going to have to make this quick but i wanted you all to know that after 2200 miles we arrived in California yesterday afternoon!!!! It was 104*, but i like that!!! The drive was beautiful particularly in the mountains of New Mexico, Arizona, and California!!!
There is so much that has happened in the last couple of weeks that i want to write about but have not had time....maybe next week before classes start.....

Move-in day is today!!!!! I cannot wait! and orientation begins today and goes through the week.....
Classes start on Wed. and that will be my life.....

i will try to find the time to post pictures and words soon....
God has done so much lately in my life that all i can do is look to Him and say it was YOU God.....

No matter where I go.....No matter what I do......I want the end result be for the GLORY OF GOD....otherwise it would all be in vain.....pray for that.......

talk soon----
nicole

YIPEE!!!!! ;)

2009-08-26T12:12:00.000-07:00

WOW!!!! so i have less than a week left.....
I leave Tuesday Spetember 1st.... thats like 6 days away......*major freaking out going on* so much to do it seems.....so little time left..... and most of all i cannot believe that this is actually going to happen.....
On the left side of my page here is all of my contact information for while i am at school....i would love for you to stay in touch....to be reminded of whats going on back at home...with or without me....;) There have been sooo many people who have been influential in my life in the last several years...from my family, to friends both old and new, to my newish church family....and everyone else in-between..... sooooo......

I am having a get-together for all of those people so i can see you all one last time before i take off ....

SUNDAY AUGUST 30th *this sunday*
2 PMish *after church and lunch*
@TROY PARK
ANYONE &EVERYONE
come hang out and we'll see what happens!!!

thanks everyone for caring....you will never fully know how much that means to me......
God bless you all.....

Counting always counting...

2009-07-11T21:36:00.000-07:00

So at 50 days I decided to post an update and here I am at 50 DAYS LEFT until I leave for APU!! 50 still seems like a lot to me but i guess its half of 100 so thats better and in only 25 days i will be to the halfway point from right now so yeah i guess 50 is ok!! :)
I have had this really weird strange mix of emotions lately... on one hand I am absolutely loving my summer.... spending time outside, sleeping in, being relaxed, and no papers hanging over my head.... but on the other hand I am soooo ready to be a school, to get moved in, to get to know my roommates, to settle in to classes, to tool around LA...... you get the point... basically i want summer to continue at the same time that I am in LA.... hmmm I guess the weather will be continuing so that is a VERY BIG bonus!!!! YEAH!!!!
My summer has been pretty quite. I still am working at Walmart although my hours vary greatly from week to week.... I am sooooo ready to be done.... 4 weeks left. My last day will be Aug. 21. YEAH!!!!!!
My best friend went to Haiti for the summer, so anytime I get a free night all I want to do is call her and do something together.... We have had some pretty crazy fun times together.... Pray for her if you think about it....Her job of caring for young children there is not an easy one at all. I am holding out hope that she maybe just maybe might be able to be home before I leave for school.....
I would love to get a vacation between now and Sept. 1 to spice up the summer.....hmmmm maybe me and some friends will have to cook up something.... ;)
Here is a slight glimpse of bits and pieces of my summer......

I have been spending my Wednesday nights babysitting for Audrey, Jack and Titus....Yes it is crazy but I love every minute of it..... I am always looking forward to Wednesday nights!!!

IT WAS SOOOO HOT!!!! This is really just for our feet and such but it hot, and our pool wasn't up yet....and someone dared me to do this!!!! HEHE!!!! =)

Another of my forever best friends!! We have a lot of fun together!!! Went putt-putting last Sunday....It was interesting to say the least!!!!

A few weeks ago i received my housing notice. It looks like I will be getting a nicer apartment than I thought. I also will have 3 other roommates, Hannah, Lindsey, and Brooke. Pray for all of us that we will mesh well together and that our relationships will be God-honoring to each other as we live together for the next year. It already appears to me that we have a few things in common so thats really good!! I am praising God for what looks to be a good year!!!
This week my grandma completely blessed me by taking me shopping for school things.... I got most of my list complete and surprise surprise I got a lot of orange things!!! My other main color is lime green. Walmart has all those bright colors this year in their college stuff.....
I am slowly getting ready to leave on September 1st. My things are beginning to occupy one side of our living room....

So that would be the general scheme of my life right now...Getting ready for my brothers wedding Aug. 1 and moving Sept. 1.....
Life is grand....and Jesus is making it even better!!!!!

I am incredibly bored...while I am supposed to be cleaning!!!!!

2009-07-11T13:17:00.001-07:00

So while I am supposed to be cleaning my room I was thinking of questions to ask my new roommates and then i saw this quiz and wahlah!!! Here's the long and short of it!! *100 Nosey Questions*
The Basics
Name:	Nicole Marie Yost
Age:	21
Month of birth:	September
Any Siblings?:	yep... I'm the oldest of 4 and my 19yr. brother is getting married Aug, 1 so 5 siblings then!!
Parents still married?:	yep for 28 years or so
Occupation:	Student...but i have been a nanny for 9 yrs. and worked at walmart for 2
Do you like your job?:	student--yes...walmart --no...nanny--love it
Any pets?:	a family dog
Hair color:	brunette
Eye color:	blue/green
Shoe size:	8-10
Any Tattoos?:	nope
Any Piercings?:	ears
Current mood:	contemplative
Current wardobe choice:	shorts and t-shirt
What are you listening to?:	prayer of the children on utube
Who did you last speak with on the phone?:	prob. my mom
What do you currently smell like?:	?? pancakes =)
Last....
Movie you watched:	Confessions of a shopoholic
Magazine you looked at:	does online count....then Boundless...
Thing you ate:	pancakes....mmmm
Book you read:	Bible, Third Watch
T.v. show you watched:	Royal Pains
Time you cried:	absolutely no idea...
Took a shower:	yesterday...
Got a real letter (a.k.a Snail Mail):	Monday
Ate at a restaurant (not fast food):	Chipotles 3 weeks ago
CD you bought:	I haven't bought one in forever.....download baby!!
What is/was....
The best thing to happen to you today?:	finished school loan paperwork...packed up some clothes....HAD THE DAY OFF WORK!!!!
Your most prized possession:	my computer
Your first vehicle:	Red Ford Focus
Your current vehicle:	Orange Chevy Colbalt
Your favorite quote:	If the Bible really is God's Word then we are called to delight in and obey it....
You bedtime (on average):	10-12 pm
Your best trait/characteristic:	listening
Your worst trait/characteristic:	stubborn, argumentitive
Do You....
Store things under your bed:	yep I need the space
Daydream:	sure why not!!
Have a computer at home:	yep, my laptop
Live in the city, suburbs or country:	country but moving to the suburbs of the second largest city in the US
Live in a home, apartment, duples or mobile home:	home with the parents and siblings but moving to an apartment
Own a cell phone:	yep and love it!!
Have a good luck charm:	nah... I have my God what more do i need!!
Collect anything:	not really
Attend high school or college:	homeschool and then community college and now Azusa!!
Make good grades:	yep...
Have You Ever....
Had a surgery?:	yep...wisdom teeth and tonsils
Had teeth pulled?:	yep...ugh
Broke the law intentionally:	well no, but i like to speed!!
Ran away from home?:	no i like my home
Broke a bone?:	no
Cheated on a test/exam:	no
Had a friend pass away:	no...
Been issued a citation/traffic ticket:	yes of course!!
Been in an auto accident:	a few... lets see its been the deers fault and other dumb peoples fault and the snows fault all but once
Lied to someone:	probably....
Been lied to:	i am sure i have...probably by my own mother....=)
Your Favorite....
Place to be:	with friends and family...actual location does not matter
Place to visit:	the beach
Place to chill:	coffee shops with friends
Non-Alcoholic drink:	dt. pepsi or mt dew or vitamin water or coffee or iced cappachino
Alcoholic drink:	bud light with lime
Type of food:	mexican or even itialian
Meal/Food dish:	pasta with vegies and chicken with herb sauce OR chipotle burrito
Dessert:	rasberry chesecake (my moms!!)or fresh strawberries!!
Shampoo & Conditioner:	whatever is a good price =) Garnier or Herbal Essence
Toothpaste:	Crest
Salad dressing:	ranch, or zesy itilian
Ice cream:	any with fruit or moose tracks
Fast food establishment:	i like them all ;) Taco Bell is probably top though!!
Color:	ORANGE:ORANGE:ORANGE:ORANGE
Season:	Summer and spring
Holiday:	Christmas (summer is only 6 months away!!!)
Perfume/Cologne:	Raulph Lauren
Video Game:	Guitar Hero
T.V. show:	Oh it changes depending on the night!! NCIS, Flashpoint AI, CSI NY, Grey's Anatomy,
Smells:	fresh mowed grass, thinks baking,....
Article of clothing:	a pair of jeans, flip flops and a hoody!!
Book:	the Bible
Children's Book:	no idea.....
Candy:	m&ms... plain or peanut
Car:	MINE!!!
Do You Believe....
In Karma:	nope
In God:	Yes, It is He who saves us and not we ourselves
In Heaven & Hell:	YES
That aliens exist (extraterrestrial variety, not illegal aliens):	NO thats just silly
That ghosts exist:	oh thats silly too....(still scarry though ;))
In horoscopes:	nah who needs that
In others you know (family, friends, co-workers etc):	yep
In yourself:	yes
Your Opinion....
On the death penalty:	who are we to judge...God can chnage hearts
On reciting the Pledge of Allegiance in schools:	Not sure i have an opinion
On homosexuals in the military:	i do believe that homosexuality is a sin, nevertheless discrimination is wrong too....
The war in the Middle East:	If it free's people from tyranny....
Schwarzeneggar...Governor or Terminator:	HAHA
Current gas/fuel prices:	Oh how I wish they would find their low happy place and then STAY THERE=)
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Version 2.0

2009-06-15T07:13:00.000-07:00

I think it is probably time for me to blog about this.....

Back in April me and mom and dad boarded a plane and headed to Los Angelos California to visit Azusa Pacific University. We got in to LA Wed. morning and left on Sat.
Wed. we spent to day tooling around LA. We went to the beach for awhile and then drove around Malibu and such before heading to Azusa to look at the school before visiting on Thursday. on Thursday we spent the entire day at APU and I spent the night there. On Friday we headed back to LA area and spent quite a bit of time in Hollywood area. Then we headed to the beach for the evening.

After seeing APU on Wednesday, I was left feeling really out of sorts and I couldn't figure out why. On Thursday we went for our official visit day. I was very impressed....they had the entire day laid out for me. I did not feel like I was just a number to them. I felt like I was actually wanted there. The campus was beautiful with lots of green and trees all around with lots of study places outside!! The people there were very friendly and nice.
But perhaps the greatest thing that I saw was when we visited a class and the professor was able to talk about GOD and following His leading and will in our lives. I loved the openness to GOD at this school!!! The professors are actually required to have a statement of faith to be hired there.
I was also (along with my dad) very impressed with the social work program there. In fact some students are doing masters level internships when they are only at the bachelor level. The program is a lot of work and intense but its also a very good program. It would definitely get me where I need to go.
I had the opportunity to meet with several different people:
the admissions counselor that I have had since before i even applied, he was very helpful and continues to be so with any questions that I had while I was there and any questions or concerns that I have now. I love the fact that someone actually cares and that it is their job to do so.
I met with a department head for the social work program and she was very helpful in figuring out exactly the course of action that I need to take.
and finally I met a student ambassador and I actually got to spend the night on campus. It was actually a lot of fun. I got a pretty good idea of campus life in the evening and I got to see the interactions between the students who live in close proximity.
Needless to say I was impressed, but it was like something was missing... I was still left feeling out of sorts Thurs. night. Looking back I know that I was looking for this huge sign from God that would tell me that this is it. This is the place that you are supposed to be. And all day I never saw that large sign nor had that huge feeling that so many people talk about having.....
On Friday when dad came to get me, as we were driving back to the hotel and as i was packing up and getting ready it hit me..... all i really wanted to do was go back and see the place all over again... i wanted to just be there.... and i realized that God had given me a sign... in fact He had given me many signs... I had just been to blind or stupid to see them. See I was looking for a bigger than life sign, but all day God showed me all of these LITTLE things that pointed me to the fact that this was the place for me. He wanted me to have a little more faith in Him, and to completely trust Him when I didn't see MY sign. He wanted me to see that it was Him not me who made this all happen and that He is giving me this opportunity.
Pretty much I had made my decision, yes there were still things to look into but everything I had wanted in a college was right there at APU and I felt God's blessings on it.
The rest of the day Friday we spent in Hollywood and at the beautiful coast.
Sad to say I took absolutely NO pictures at the school but many of other things....

but here is one pic of the west campus that I found elsewhere.... beautiful!!!!

So YES YES YES...... I am going to Azusa Pacific University....as long as God wills it so...
And I am uber duper super ecstatically EXCITED about it!!! Money is still a concern but i KNOW that God will provide as He sees fit.
Orientation and move-in begins September 4th.
I will be living in an on-campus apartment with 3-4 other girls... so my summer will be spent trying to prepare for living away from home(something I have never done before) with all of the things that I will need from sheets to kitchen things. Honestly its a bit overwhelming trying to figure out needs vs. wants. Particularily when money is tight..... But I know that God is good and He will provide.... And if any of you have really sweet cool good ideas about stuff you cannot live without or maybe you can but its still a good idea...... I am open to anything!!!!!
And according to the countdown on my page I have about 77 days until my family and I drive 2000 miles to take me to school in Azusa, CA!!!!!!
Im diving in... im going deep!!!

Better is one day....than thousadns elsewhere...

2009-05-24T12:13:00.000-07:00

I have just realized that its been forever and a day since I have posted anything... so here goes a short synopsis og my life...be what it may...

I finished school May 7th and so far I am enjoying my time away from it all. I received my official Associates degree in Arts so that was a nice little accomplishment!!! I came away with OK grades but not quite what I was hoping for...oh well schools getting harder thats all...
I am still babysitting for another few weeks and every day i realize how much i am going to miss these kiddos when i go away to school.... I am going to try to do stuff with them throughout the summer just for fun, so far on our list is the zoo, the pool, and the fair....
I have officially made my school decision and i have this post that I am working on to tell you more...maybe next week.....
On my way to work this week i wrecked my car trying to NOT hit the deer on the road in front of me.... the cars fixable but it will be several weeks and $500 that I did NOT plan on spending on my car.... I am trying to understand God's point in all of this.... but I am not getting far....I have been more frustrated and irritated and mad about the whole ordeal than any other emotion....
And this weekend was the weekend that I was supposed to be spending with my best friends in Baltimore at sovereign graces's young adult conference NEXT. So I have been feeling somewhat sorry for myself for not being able to go... In a little while I am going to go hang out with the friends that I went with last year and we'll all feel sad that we are nto there....but i guess we will be together...just in Troy not in Baltimore.... We all went last year and had the most amazign time together and in God's word that we know what we are missing out on...

AAAAAHHHHHHH LIFE>>>>>>>
But i know that everything has a purpose in life and that God is not passivly sitting by and watching but that He is actively involved in my life.
sometimes though.... Life is just HARD
But thats why there is the cross.... Life is hard to point me back to the cross and the whole entire reason for living my life......

Sweetness!!

2009-04-04T20:46:00.001-07:00

Ok so I just want to put this out there right now.....
I have a simply awesome amazing dad, and mom too!!!! and i love them soooo much!!!!!!
Dad just booked us plane tickets from Dayton to LA on April 22-25!!! and they were pretty good prices!!!
My dads good and searching for stuff like that.....I get it honest from him. I never buy anything until I have looked at all my options and I know it truly is the best price out there. Even if I already know its a pretty good price I still have this need to check elsewhere......it drives my mom and sister nuts sometimes when we are shopping....but I get it from my dad!!!! (there is something you probably didn't need to know about me!!)

So yeah i have amazingly sweet, cool, awesome parents!!!!

Colin II

2009-04-02T06:00:00.000-07:00

The latest news today is that the surgery will be at 2 or 3.
Continue praying for the strength of Colin and the rest of my family. It is going to be a long day...

COLIN!!!!

2009-04-01T18:57:00.000-07:00

For anyone who has heard and is wondering and praying:::
Colin had a farm accident today and put a half-inch bolt clear through his right hand. He was taken to Upper Valley Hospital where basically all they did was do x-rays, they then wanted a hand surgeon to look at it so he was taken to Southview Hospital.
Currently he is at Southview and he will be having surgery tomorrow sometime. The major concern is the bone around the knuckle. There is a possibility that the bone of the finger and hand/knuckle will have to be fused together which will then leave his finger pretty stiff and probably not real usable. We are really praying that won't happen. I went and saw him tonight and he is doing ok, mainly because of the morphine he is on!!

Please continue to pray for him and for my family.....We thank you all for your love, prayers, and support.

Prayers and Praise::::
Prayer: that the hand and index finger won't be as damaged as they think it might be
Prayer: for the surgeon who does the surgery tomorrow
Praise: that dad was not travelling when this happened
Prayer: for my mom who doesn't do well with hurts and blood and such...God give her strength
Praise: that the rest of the hand was not injured worse
Praise: that he did not loose his hand
Prayer: that God will bring him through everything ok
Prayer: for the rest of my family especially Brooke and Laina
Prayer: for me that I can be everywhere at once, and be what my family needs me to be

Ok the pic is sorta gross...if your super queasy i wouldn't continue looking....

2009-04-01T08:08:00.000-07:00

in case anyone wondered....i am still working on the blog design....its a work in progress....

On to college.....
I still have not completely decided, but I really feel like that is the place that God is calling me to be. I have a lot of peace about going there. Granted I do need to visit yet.
My dad told me I needed to get all my ducks in a row before we would visit..... well guess what... I DID.... and now I am waiting for mom and dad to get their ducks in a row so that we can go. I am ready anytime =)

I am completely ready for spring to come.... mainly I have worn flip-flops like almost every day and yes my feet have been frigid a few times!! Me and the kids are completely ready to get out, and be able to go to the park or take a walk or just about anything outside!!!

This is when the weather was really nice several weeks ago....we are all ready for it to come back....
Kaden-5
Kellen-4 He was so proud of himself for doing this by himself
kellen and kaylee
kaden

kaylee-2
kellen
me and kaylee

PLEASE COME SOON SUMMER!!!!

GOD IS STILL WORKING in the hearts of people!!!!

2009-03-27T22:55:00.000-07:00

http://www.RedEnvelopeDay.com
: What:
Get red envelopes or postcards (http://www.zazzle.com/RedEnvelopeDay) and mail them on March 31st to the White House

When:
March 31st, 2009

Get a red envelope. You can buy them at Kinkos, or at party supply stores. On the front, address it to

President Barack Obama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW
Washington , D.C. 20500

On the back, write the following message.

This envelope represents one child who died because of an abortion.
It is empty because the life that was taken is now unable to be a part of our world.

We will mail the envelopes out March 31st, 2009.

Put it in the mail, and send it. Then forward this event to every one of your friends who you think would send one too. I wish we could send 50 million red envelopes, one for every child who died [in the U.S.] before having a chance to live.

It may seem that those who believe abortion is wrong are in a minority. It may seem like we have no voice and it's shameful to even bring it up. Let us show our President and the world that the voices of those of us who do not believe abortion is acceptable are not silent and must be heard.

Together we can change the heart of The President and save the lives of millions of children.

Barack Obama spoke at a Planned Parenthood Action Fund event, uttering the now infamous line, "Well, the first thing I'd do as president is, is sign the Freedom of Choice Act. [Applause.] That's the first thing that I'd do."

An empty red envelope will send a message to President Barack Obama that there is moral outrage in this country over this issue [The Freedom of Choice Act, which will essentially “undo” every law currently in place to limit abortion in the U.S. (i.e., parental consent laws, parental notification, waiting periods, prohibition of transporting a minor girl across state lines to obtain an abortion, etc.)]. It will be quiet, but clear.

http://www.RedEnvelopeDay.com
What:
Get red envelopes or postcards (http://www.zazzle.com/RedEnvelopeDay) and mail them on March 31st to the White House

When:
March 31st, 2009

Get a red envelope. You can buy them at Kinkos, or at party supply stores. On the front, address it to

President Barack Obama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW
Washington , D.C. 20500

On the back, write the following message.

This envelope represents one child who died because of an abortion.
It is empty because the life that was taken is... (read more)
Mission:: To send as many Red Envelopes / Postcards to the White House on March 31st as possible.
Products:: http://www.zazzle.com/RedEnvelopeDay*
http://www.RedEnvelopeDay.com/send.html

EDIT..........

2009-03-26T14:09:00.000-07:00

EDIT: I KNOW YOU CAN'T READ MY BLOG RIGHT NOW......
PLEASE BE PATIENT: ITS A WORK IN PROGRESS......

Great Day!!

2009-03-23T20:39:00.000-07:00

So officially this evening I got a phone call from my admissions counselor at my top school, Azusa Pacific University, that I had been accepted!!!!!!!!!!! I am so pumped up right now!!!
Along with that I also am receiving a $4000 scholarship every year just because of my good grades!!!!
God is just so good.
Its not 100% positive that I am going to school there yet, and it probably won't be until I visit, hopefully in the next month or so and I still need to figure out the financial aspects of it, and then there is the distance from home part, but this school just seems to be the right fit for me, there are so many different aspects of it that I love that I can't help but think that maybe God is at work here.

I am still praying about this a lot but this much I know....
If I pursue God with my whole heart, and if this is what He wants for me then all of those little details will work out, and in the end I will know that it wasn't about me and that I didn't make it happen and therefore..... I WILL GIVE GOD THE GLORY!!!!!
Thanks for praying and please don't stop....i need all the prayers I can get!!!

SPRING BREAK!!!!

2009-03-08T21:57:00.000-07:00

Ok so just so you know I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE spring break. I love school but i think i might love my break more, at least i do at the start of it!!!!
My official last test and paper was Thursday and i got out around 8 and since then i have been school free!!!!
So now on to what will i do with my time??? HMMMMM well i seem to have all these things that have sort of pile up on me the last 3 months so we'll see what i can get accomplished. and here is an FYI i love list, although not as much as my mom i am afraid but heres my running list

CLEAN room like as in spring clean
do laundry
clean car inside and out
work on college pros and cons list
watch all the movies i have lost out on
SLEEP
work on blog page
get pics and music back onto my computer
do all the other little odd projects that lay around and never get done
sleep some more

And thats about the sum of my week......

I got accepted at a school down in FL so its looking like we might possibly be visiting there toward the end of the week. I am not complaining about visiting a school that is in FL where the weather is much nicer than our own.....
And thats about is for my week..... pretty boring but oh so relaxing and refreshing!!!!!

Rahab....

2009-02-27T21:35:00.000-08:00

Hey all....so i guess its been awhile...hehe... Life has been super crazy and super hectic....
School is still school; work is still work; school applications are coming along......

Next week is midterms at school....me thinks i will probably get little to no sleep all week and i need to be getting my grade up some so i will need to be working twice as hard for every class i do believe. Oh well....just pray for me to pass and not get to stressed out....

I got accepted at one of my top schools a few weeks ago. It is in Florida and i think i like the looks of it but i still need to visit....maybe over spring break.... my other top school still needs one more form I found out today so i need to get that done then i will know...... I feel like i have basically eliminated most of the other schools just because and i really do not know why nor do i have good reasons, but it is much easier to focus on 2 than to focus on 5. I am just praying that God will open all the right doors at the right time.

Several weeks ago at church we were going through Ruth in Sunday school and i learned something that I never knew before....Boaz whom Ruth eventually married, was the son of Rahab the prostitute from Jericho who chose to have faith in God and was spared. That in and of itself is a great story, but here is the cool thing, I saw this article on Boundless and it really had an impact on me and caused me to dig deeper and think more.

Article can be found here at Boundless... or scroll down for it.
To many times I tend to focus more on the sin than on the sinner, forgetting that I myself am only a sinner saved by grace. I tend to look and judge, and think "that so wrong" or "i would never do that" or "thats so unchrisitan" all the while having my own sin right in front of my eyes and forgetting to deal with me instead of them. This reminded that Christ died for ALL of us not just me and not just christians, but all of us including the Rahabs of the world.
I need to daily work on judging less and loving more and with God's help I WILL!!!!!!

The Scarlet Thread of Rahab

by Randy Thomas

For years, even after becoming a Christian, I was dead set against Christians being involved in public policy. Today, I have to confess with Francis Schaeffer that "true spirituality covers all of reality." If I am truly to be salt and light to the world, unsavory and dark, then I am compelled to be politically engaged — from the basics of voting, to the extended calling of engagement with civic leaders.

And so I've found myself, formerly a rabid liberal, in recent years looking more like a pawn for the vast right wing conspiracy.

Shortly after marriage was redefined in Massachusetts in 2004 I was invited by the New Jersey Family Policy Council (NJFPC) to share my testimony of overcoming homosexuality, and to give my public support for their efforts to pass a constitutional amendment affirming marriage as only between a man and a woman. The group was going to sponsor four meetings in four different New Jersey cities. It was an honor to be invited as one of the speakers.

As I spoke over the phone with Len Deo, director of NJFPC, I could tell that his heart for those of us who have or have had same-sex attractions was very rich with compassionate grace. As we finished our conversation, he mentioned that they were using the biblical story of Jericho as a metaphor to help inspire people to "battle" for marriage.

As you may know, the wandering nation of Israel was eventually commanded by the Lord to take the Promised Land one battle at a time. In the case of Jericho, God commanded Israel to march around the heavily fortified city walls for seven days. On the seventh day they were to blast their horns and the walls of the city would fall. Because of the direction of God, the obedience of Israel and the miracle of God's intervention, Jericho was conquered.

When I hung up the phone with Len I found myself praying, "Lord, I don't want to do this in that context. I know they have a great heart, but why does it always come down to 'battle' language? I don't want to talk battle language. Should I even go?"

I believe the Lord said to me that, yes, He wanted me to go and affirm that we are in a battle. But He also wanted me to go to balance out that message. The Lord reminded me of Rahab, the woman who along with her family were the only ones in all of Jericho to be spared. I believe the Holy Spirit said, "Go and talk to these groups and focus on Rahab. They can go into battle but they can't forget the Rahabs in their lives."

The day of the first meeting had arrived. I was one of a panel of speakers. Len was there, along with a pastor from Washington state, a lawyer from the Alliance Defense Fund and a gentleman from Focus on the Family. The speakers ahead of me hit on all the public policy and theological elements, explaining why it was important to engage this battle for marriage.

After prayer and nail biting, it was my turn to speak. It was time to make public policy personal. After briefly sharing my story of overcoming homosexuality, I began to give my perspective of the battle.

When the nation of Israel started toward Jericho, you just know that word spread like wildfire throughout the land. One woman, a prostitute, a sexual sinner heard the news and feared. She was not an Israelite, and by now the Israelites had a reputation for annihilating — not just winning in battle, but "destroying" their enemies because of God's favor and miracles.

Because of this fear — or reverence if you will — when given the opportunity, Rahab showed deference to the God of Israel. Instead of turning over Caleb and Joshua as the Jewish spies they were, she spared them and helped them escape. As a result, God decided to have mercy on her.

It is said that at that time there were some 2 million Israelites, making for a very intimidating presence around the walls of Jericho. Imagine the sound of 2 million people on your doorstep! It is also reported that Rahab was instructed to hang a scarlet cord out of her window so that as these 2 million people took over the city, they would pass by her house.

Now, imagine if you were Rahab. Israel is camped outside your front lawn doing marches and promising to destroy your city and your neighbors. Imagine the first day, when the whole city is in an uproar over the first march. Rahab gathers her loved ones in her house and hangs the blood-red thread out of the window.

She may or may not have known about the seven days of instruction. Day after day passes and each day she increasingly wonders if God's people will keep their word. She wonders if God really will have mercy on her.

Then, on the seventh day, the Israelites just kept marching and marching. Not just one trip today but seven times around the city. Imagine Rahab and her family huddling together with fear and tears as the Israelite horns sounded. Can you imagine the terror? Can you imagine their grief as they heard neighbors and friends dying right outside their front door? Can you empathize with the anxiety she must have experienced knowing that everything she knew about life, society, friends was vanishing? Everything was gone except those closest to her.

Amid the crashing and screaming can you hear the whispered prayers of a whore known as Rahab: "God of Israel, please don't kill me! Please don't kill me! Please don't kill me...."

At that point in my presentation I stopped and looked around at the crowd. You could have heard a pin drop. Every eye was glued to the front, many of them weeping. Two of the pastors were literally slack jawed in astonishment. The fellow panelists were riveted; one was moved to tears. I think God had gotten their attention.

I continued.

I am so glad Len decided to use the battle of Jericho as a metaphor for your marriage efforts here in New Jersey. Yes, it is a battle. It is a formidable battle and one that looks impossible to win. You must follow the Lord and what He is instructing you to do in order to win this battle. What you are engaged in is no small thing.

But remember this: Some 2 million Jews had to know exactly where one lady lived. They had to know exactly where she lived because the God who was about to hand over this miracle of a battle to a nation was also wanting to perform a miracle of redemption for a prostitute.

While you enter into this ideological battle and do your prayer walks around state house steps, who is the person in your life that God wants to have mercy on? Who is the person who isn't currently counted among God's people, who doesn't know any other way to love and to relate to others beyond the context of their same-sex attractions?

Who is watching you with fear? As you battle for marriage, do you understand that you are challenging someone's entire worldview? That you are challenging their whole experience, everything they know?

Who is your modern day Rahab? Until you know who that person is you have no business, no moral authority to storm the city. If you don't know who the Lord wants to have mercy on, you'll be in violation of grace and mercy in the name of truth. Truth is never to be separated from grace and mercy because God does not deal in half-truths.

There is someone in your life whose heart God is speaking to. He wants you to know exactly where they are, and He does not want you to harm them in your zeal for truth.

Are you listening to Him whisper their name in your ear? Are you willing to love and serve them as Jesus would? The battle is still the battle, but in the way Rahab took her place in the lineage of Christ Himself, there are some around you who will be incorporated into the Body of Christ. Don't trample them in the name of winning a miraculous battle. Raise them up, bring them in and love them as God does.

After I had concluded my message, a number of people came up with tears in their eyes for a loved one, a friend, a neighbor ... themselves. Several pastors came up repenting for their callousness toward those in the homosexual community. Others came up grateful for exhortation that they themselves had been yearning to express. I was amazed by God's goodness.

A few years have passed since I spoke at that set of meetings; we continue to face a variety of huge public policy battles. The word the Lord gave me in New Jersey in 2004, though, keeps me mindful that while it's important to fight for issues of righteousness, if we don't keep His grace and mercy toward the individual in our hearts, the walls won't be coming down for us, but on us.

God's immediate purpose amid the battle of Jericho was to have Israel take root in the Promised Land. His more eternal purpose was to protect and preserve the lineage of Jesus. The Lord was honored when the Israelites fought and won the battle, but also when they properly exercised mercy toward one particular sexual sinner. When they looked past her scarlet letter and to the foreshadow of a scarlet thread.

Next...thisisnext...Next

2009-01-30T08:25:00.000-08:00

What a week!!! I like snow, when it means I get to stay home all day!!! (much to my moms dismay I believe!!) on tuesday my day started with a 2 hour delay, then i went to school for my 130 class while in that class i started to snow, i was amazed at the amount of snow in an hour and a half. my 400 class ended up being canceled due to the weather, and i sat around school until about 5 trying to decide if i should come home, finally I did decide to not go to my 600 class and come home, it was a good thing i did too since school was closed around 530!! But what normally takes me 25 minutes to drive ended up taking about 45.....talk about stress....then on Wednesday, Edison closed ALL day!!!! that has not happened in like 3 or 4 years.....basically they NEVER close...... so wenesday i got to work on all those little projects laying around......more college stuff.....
here's my most recent thought.....
how in the world am i supposed to visit the schools that are so far away without breaking my non-existent budget/bank account/ MONEY...... i mean serriously how does one do this???

On to NEXT....(the old Na) this info came out the other day and I am soooo syked for it!!! I have been ready to go for a very long time.....actually it was probably since the last conference.... May is such a long ways away....but it will be something to look forward to after I finish up school at Edison and I have my associates degree!!! So far its just me and a friend going but we are hoping to get more people, at least a carload.....the more the merrier!!!
NEXT is Josh Harris, D.A. Carson, Kevin DeYoung, C.J. Mahaney, and Sinclair Ferguson!!! I'll be there in May!!

keep warm, be safe, have an amazing weekend (mine involves wm!!!)

Between Two Worlds

2009-01-23T20:16:00.001-08:00

I found this blog/article through Josh Harris, and it really made an impression on me, actually the whole entire blog does... Lately well since Tuesday, I have heard alot of bashing and negative about Obama, and even though he was not my first choice, you do have to realize the history that was made when he was elected the first black president. Even though I generally do not support his policies, I am reminded of this verse: Titus 3:1-3 1Remind them to be subject to rulers, to authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good deed, 2to malign no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing every consideration for all men.3For we also once were foolish ourselves, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various lusts and pleasures, spending our life in malice and envy, hateful, hating one another.

So to me this is more a reminder to continue to pray for this man and his family that God has placed in power, and is now my president. He might not do what I like but God knows, and judgement is his not mine.....

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Abortion and Obama's First Few Days

Here was President Obama's statement on abortion yesterday, released late in the day:
On the 36th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, we are reminded that this decision not only protects women's health and reproductive freedom, but stands for a broader principle: that government should not intrude on our most private family matters. I remain committed to protecting a woman's right to choose.
While this is a sensitive and often divisive issue, no matter what our views, we are united in our determination to prevent unintended pregnancies, reduce the need for abortion, and support women and families in the choices they make. To accomplish these goals, we must work to find common ground to expand access to affordable contraception, accurate health information, and preventative services.

On this anniversary, we must also recommit ourselves more broadly to ensuring that our daughters have the same rights and opportunities as our sons: the chance to attain a world-class education; to have fulfilling careers in any industry; to be treated fairly and paid equally for their work; and to have no limits on their dreams. That is what I want for women everywhere.
By "daughters" and "sons" he means "daughters and sons" outside the womb.

It was interesting that at the Saddleback Presidential Forum, Rick Warren asked a very good and specific question: "At what point does a baby get human rights, in your view?" He did not ask a theological question (e.g., when does the baby begin to have a soul?) or a scientific question (when does human life begin?), but a purely legal question (when do babies begin to have rights?).

Obama either misunderstood or misrepresented:
Well, you know, I think that whether you’re looking at it from a theological perspective or a scientific perspective, answering that question with specificity, you know, is above my pay grade.
The question, though, was not above his pay grade, for Obama has answered it decisively and clearly by his unmitigated support for Roe v. Wade: a baby gets human rights when the mother wants it to have human rights. The will of the stronger is the rule of law.

Politico reports this morning that today President Obama will reverse the Mexico City Policy, which prevents federally funded non-governmental organizations from performing or promoting abortion services in other countries.

Update: Frank Beckwith comments (below):Apparently, the only way our daughters can be successful is if they are permitted to kill our grandchildren.

So, without surgery so that women can be like men, women are unequal to men. Thus, according to Obama, women are congenitally inferior unless they can have abortions.

I don't even think the worst chauvinists in the world have implied anything so outrageous

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
God Knows..... leave it up to Him

Colossians 1:15-17

15He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation.

16For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities--all things have been created through Him and for Him.

17He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.

Admissions office....

2009-01-18T15:13:00.000-08:00

As I sit here and drink my now cold peppermint tea, I can't believe that my Christmas vacation is now officially over and I have been back to school for a whole week. Well minus the one day I took off for snow.....I had a really good somewhat relaxing vacation that included staying up until 3 or 4 am almost every night for 1 week of it. I actually enjoyed getting to do that.....
So now its back to real life......work from 7am-12pm; school from 1:30 til about 6 depending on the day; then its home most nights and walmart on friday and saturday nights......
On Mondays and Wednesdays I have Western Civilization since 1715 History, and Intro to Philosophy. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I have Crisis Intervention and Intro to the (dare I say it) MAC ;-). On Tuesday nights I have Intro to Internet Development, and on Thursday nights I have Intro to Religion. And that is my 20 credit hours needed to graduate with my assocciates degree!!
And moving on to this ridiculous tranfer stuff..... I am slowly getting somwhere with it.... i think.....
My top favorite school right now is Azusa Pacific, close to LA. But first I need to find the ministerial/personal reference and the academic reference, and then that file will be complete :-)...... but finding those references for several different schools hmmmmm...... (anyone willing to fill out a bunch of forms ;-))

and you know i had this thought awhile back (like last week) and it was so cool and now it has left my head.... oh well..... at least you got an update!!!

The Tale of A City

2008-12-13T20:23:00.000-08:00

I can't believe its Saturday night already and I have been home from New York City 5 whole days. Wow!!! Honestly I have not written anything because I do not know what to say and I still don't. I am hoping that now that school is done, I will be able to share with you sometime next week, a little bit of what God has done. I am still so filled with all of these different emotions, I am not sure how to sum it all up. But for those of you curious about the trip, I will do some non-emotional sum up now, and the rest later

I LOVE BIG CITIES!!!!! I especially love NY. I love the subway. I love the diversity. I love the cultural. I love the Bronx. I love the food. I love Chinatown. I love Manhatten. I love Times Square. I love Brooklyn Tabernacle Church. I love the people. I love Harv and Robin. I love my friends who went. I love New York City. Really what more can I say?? We didn't do much it seemed, but it is such a large city, its hard to feel like anything IS anything. We worked at 2 soup kitchens, had a cookout, and got to play with Bronx kids. How cool is all of that. And we got to do some site-seeing, and shopping too!!!

God is so good, hes so good to me.

Here's what I am feeling now.......

All of those things that I wanted to come home to, (my own large shower and bathroom, my own bedroom, my privacy, my comfortable bed, my peace and quite, being on my own schedule, drinking my coffee alone) all of those things are the things I wish I was back in right now. I get up in the mornings and its so quite and honestly a little bit lonely. Its all so big and quite and I miss the people all around me, to laugh and cry with, to fall alseep with and wake up to. I miss those feelings and I miss those people.

All of those things I wanted to come home to the most, those are now the things I miss the most..........

2008-12-04T04:54:00.000-08:00

I serriously I have no idea what I will be writing, I just know I feel like writing..... so bear with me, I might ramble, but I have had my coffee this morning so I am good for awhile!!! ;-)
School is finally winding down for the semester!! My last major research paper is done and I am getting ready to turn it in!! YEAH!!! As much as i love school, I am always thankful for the break. Next week is my last week, and therefore its finals week. It could be stressful but actually this week has been more so..... It looks like I should come out ok with my grades, not really what i wanted but i guess it will have to do. Maybe it will be better next semester. Next semester I will be taking 7 classes, so that i can finish up at Edison, as I am so over it..... it will be intensly stressful probably, but i will plan and organize and try really hard not to waste my time!!
I know its time to get rid of the shoebox stuff all over my page, but I guess its something called time!!! which I don't feel I have currently. Here is something I found out the other day.... there were 30,000 shoeboxes from Dayton, and 20,000 from Cinicinati. Just think thats only 2 cities in Ohio, and they are not even the biggest ones!! How cool is that And if you participated, Thank You! A child will know Someone loves them because of you.
I have been thinking something in this vein lately, and it feels that every day I get up and I do exactly the same thing, and I have to wonder if I am making the most of my time. I think when I truly understand that every single day, every single breath, is truly a gift, that God could say its over any moment, when I truly realize that thenI will make the most of every minute. And here is parts of the song that goes with that thought.....Teach us to count the days Teach us to make the days count Lead us in better ways That somehow our souls forgot Life means so much So how are you gonna spend Will you invest, or squander Try to get ahead Or help someone who's under Every day is a gift you've been given Make the most of the time every minute you're living Life means so much.
and now ladies anad gentleman, for the absolute best part of this post...............................
I am leaving in about 6 hours for NEW YORK CITY!!!!! Ahhhh I am so excited, and as the days have gone by I am getting more excited!!! It will be a good time with old and new friends. I think there are about 25 of us going. We will be working at this ministry in the Bronx I believe, and basically doing whatever needs doing. We will be there until Monday. And on Sunday we get to go to church, probably Times Square, and how cool is that!!! To just be in NYC, a city I have never even been in, and to minister to the people there. Lets just sayI am so excited!!!
And now i must go.... i have to finish packing, go give a speech, turn in some papers, come home, finish up, and leave!!!

******Please pray for us......for our safety, our health and well-being, for our drive there and back(no snow please), for our parents sanity, for the people of NYC, and most of all that Christ will be exalted in everything we do!*********

Only Time....

2008-11-11T16:15:00.000-08:00

I guess its been awhile since I have done anything on here..... lifes been a little bit hectic lately, but really when isn't life a little bit crazy!! :-) If only there were more than 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week and especially 2 or 3 days in a weekend. Every time the week find myself longing for the weekend, only to wake up on Monday morning and realize that its gone already. Working on Saturdays does that I guess. Sunday has quick become my absolute favorite day of the week, and going to a church that I love and spending time with my family are just huge bonuses!!! I am always wishing for 2 Sundays instead of just one!!!
Do you ever have those amazing days off that fall exactly when and where you need them, and you are so excited to have the day off and there is so much stuff you are gonna get done and then all of a sudden its like 7 pm and you have absolutely no idea where the day went or what exactly you got done with your time..... Yeah that was sorta my day today..... I had to work this morning but I had no school today for Veterans Day, and i was soooo looking forward to today and now as I am sitting here I have no idea what happened to the day. I do know I worked on more college stuff, its seemingly forever endless still. Although I did clean off my poor mothers dining room table of all the college info more than half went into the trash, so i guess that is a good thing. I now only have one small pile of manila file folders on the table!!! I guess you could say that is progress. :-)

I went and voted last week!! that was a grand new experience, even though I did not get my choice for president, I will stand behind this man, and I will pray for him as God wills it.
My brother left for Mali, Africa last week. I can't help but be a little bit jealous that he has this amazing opportunity, I would give anything to have the time and the opportunity to be in Africa at all, let alone for 2 whole months. But i guess I will have time someday..... Lord willing. I will be in prayer for my brother though that God will use him, to the best of his abilities, and that his heart will be broken with the things that break the heart of God. All of my blessings, prayer, and support go to you Adam.....

If you can't tell I am a little bit crazed about Operation Christmas Child.....its all over my page!!!! And I LOVE it!!! the opportunity to give a child the only gift they will ever receive and to tell them about God's love in Jesus Christ is so amazing. If you have time I highly encourage you to DO A SHOEBOX!!!!!! Collection week starts on Monday.I have been there, I have given these gifts to these children, and if you had seen what I have you would do as many shoeboxes as you could, because it does make a difference!!!! Almost 3 years ago I set off on a life changing trip to Belize with OCC to hand out shoeboxes and what I saw has forever changed me. I will never be the same. Thank You Jesus!!!

DO A SHOEBOX...CHANGE A CHILD'S LIFE FOREVER

I guess...

2008-10-27T10:48:00.000-07:00

Ok so i am officially freezing cold, and it just serves as a reminder of why I am going to school someplace warm..... but man it seems so far away.... I have started the application process at several of the schools i am looking at but it takes so long. First there is the actual application then there is the fee that some of them charge, then there are the academic references, the transcripts, the personal references, and the ministeral references.... serriously its somewhat rediculous, and frustrating, I can't use the sae people for all of the schools that I apply too, that just gets tiresome, especially since I am applying to at least 5 schools maybe as many as 10.....and then there is the small issue that the schools that i like the best so far are also the most expensive ones in my list of about 13 or so schools. ....but i guess I can say that I have started anyways....its such a long road.

I got to take my sister to see Sarah Palin the other day, and it was like way cool!! We were literally so close to having her sign our tickets but she ended up signing others instead, which is ok I guess. We were behind her during the speech but she turned around alot so that was ok. Being there made me realize a lot of different things, but one of those was what I have been trying to pinpoint for a long time..... Ithink I am going to be secret service when I grow up...jk....:-) No actually i realized that I would like to pursue some type of photojournalism along with my social work. Because if it worls out that I can work overseas I want to be able to tell the story of the people that I work with through my photography. So we'll see how that one pans out....lets just say i am praying about it......

Waiting in line

Our official view

The daughters Piper and Willow signing

Sarah Palin signing for us all....

We had a great time.... Now its time to vote!!!

2008-10-22T17:25:00.000-07:00

So politics seems to be the consuming thing of late...hmmm i wonder why? And I have a tendency to get a little but wrapped up in it, especially when I have made up my mind. You know doing things like listening only to Fox news, and having a slight tendency to hang on to every word, and skipping class to go see Sara Palin, and all sorts of things..... but anyways I read this on facebook the other day (facebook is like amazing in case you didn't know...come find me...) and I really liked what the man was saying for the most part even though he gets to be abit in your face in the end, its the beginning that caught my eye so much, so i thought i would share it with you....
Thats all the politics for now, at least until tomorrow :-)

Huntley Brown is a pianist with the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association. He is a Jamaican and his wife, Annette, is from the island of Barbados. Huntley is a graduate of Judson Baptist College and NIU. He has a Master's in Piano performance from Northern Illinois University.
"Why I Can't Vote For Obama"
By Huntley Brown
Dear Friends,
A few months ago I was asked for my perspective on Obama, I sent out an email with a few points. With the election just around the corner I decided to complete my perspective.
First, I must say whomever wins the election will have=2 0my prayer support.Obama needs to be commended for his accomplishments, but I need to explain why I will not be voting for him.Many of my friends process their identity through their blackness.I process my identity through Christ. Being a Christian (a Christ follower) means He leads, I follow. I can't dictate the terms He does because He is the leader .I can't vote black because I am black, I have to vote Christian because that's who I am. Christian first, black second. Neither should anyone from the other ethnic groups vote because of ethnicity.
200 years from now I won't be asked if I was black or white. I will be asked if I knew Jesus and accepted Him as Lord and Savior.
In an election there are many issues to consider but when a society gets abortion, same-sex marriage, embryonic stem-cell research, and human cloning wrong, economic concerns will soon not matter.
We need to follow Martin Luther King's words, don't judge someone by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I don't know Obama so all I can go off is his voting record.His voting record earned him the title of the most liberal senator in the US Senate in 2007.NATIONAL JOURNAL: Obama: Most Liberal Senator in 2007 (1/31/2008). To beat Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton as the most liberal senator takes some doing. Obama accomplish ed this feat in two short years. I wonder what would happen to America if he had four years to work with.
There is a reason Planned Parenthood gives him a 100 % rating.
There is a reason the homosexual community supports him.
There is a reason Ahmadinejad, Chavez, Castro, Hamas, etc., love him.
There is a reason he said he would nominate liberal judges to the Supreme Court.
There is a reason he voted against the infanticide bill.
There is a reason he voted No on the constitutional ban of same-sex marriage.
There is a reason he voted No on banning partial birth abortion.
There is a reason he voted No on confirming Justices Roberts and Alito. These two judges are conservatives and they have since overturned partial birth abortion--the same practice Obama wanted to continue.
There is a reason Obama opposed the parental notification law. Think about this: you can't give a kid an aspirin without parental notification, but that same kid can have an abortion without parental notification. This is insane.
There is a reason he went to Jeremiah Wright's church for 20 years. Obama tells us he has good judgment, but he sat under Jeremiah Wright teaching for 20 years. Now he is condemning Wright's sermons. I wonder why now?Obama said Jeremiah Wright led him to the Lord and discipled him. A disciple is one in training. Jesus told us in Matthew 28:19 - 20 'Go and make disciples of all nations.' This means reproduce yourself. Teach people to think like you, walk like you, talk like you believe what you believe, etc. The question I have is, what did Jeremiah Wright teach him?
Would you support a white President who went to a church which has tenets that said they
have a:
1. Commitment to the white community.
2. Commitment to the white family.
3. Adherence to the white work ethic.
4. Pledge to make the fruits of all developing and acquired skills available to the white community .
5. Pledge to allocate regularly, a portion of personal resources for strengthening and supporting white institutions.
6. Pledge allegiance to all white leadership who espouse and embrace the white value system.
7. Personal commitment to embracement of the white value system.
Would you support a President who went to a church like that?Just change the word from white to black and you have the tenets of Obama's former church.
If President Bush was a member of a church like this, he would be called a racist. Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton would have been marching outside.This kind of church is a racist church. Obama did not wake up after 20 years and just discover he went to a racist church.
The church can't be about race. Jesus did not come for any particular race. He came for the whole world.
A church can't have a value system based on race. The church's value system has to be based on biblical mandate. It does not matter if its a white church or a black church--it's still wrong. Anyone from either race who attends a church like this would never get my vote.
Obama's former Pastor Jeremiah Wright is a disciple of liberal theologian James Cone, author of the 1970 book, "A Black Theology of Liberation." Cone wrote: 'Black theology refuses to accept a God who is not identified totally with the goals of the black community. If God is not for us and against white people, then he is a murderer, and we had better kill him."Cone is the man Obama's mentor looks up to.
Does Obama believe this?
So what does all this mean for the nation?In the past when the Lord brought someone with the beliefs of Obama to lead a nation it meant one thing -- judgment.
Read 1 Samuel 8 when Israel asked for a king.
First God says in 1 Samuel 1:9 'Now listen to them; but warn them solemnly and let them know what the king who will reign over them will do.'Then God says, 1 Samuel 1:18 ' When that day comes, you will cry out for relief from the king you have chosen, and the LORD will not answer you in that day.' 19 But the people refused to listen to Samuel. 'No!' they said. 'We want a king over us. 20 Then we will be like all the other nations, with a king to lead us and to go out before us and fight our battles.' 21 When Samuel heard all that the people said, he repeated it before the LORD. 22 The LORD answered, 'Listen to them and give them a king.'
Here is what we know for sure.God is not schizophrenic.He would not tell one person to vote for Obama and one to vote for McCain. As the scripture says, a city divided against itself cannot stand, so obviously many people are not hearing from God.Maybe I am the one not hearing, but I know God does not change and Obama contradicts many things I read in scripture so I doubt it.For all my friends who are voting for Obama, can you really look God in the face and say; "Father based on your word, I am voting for Obama even though I know he will continue the genocidal practice of partial birth abortion.
He might have to nominate three or four supreme court justices, and I am sure he will be nominating liberal judges who will be making laws that are against you. I also know he will continue to push for homosexua l rights, even though you destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah for this. I know I can look the other way because of the economy."I could not see Jesus agreeing with many of Obama's positions.
Finally I have two questions for all my liberal friends.
Since we know someone's value system has to be placed on the nation,
1. Whose value system should be placed on the nation?
2. Who should determine that this is the right value system for the nation?

Vitamin Energy

2008-10-15T10:22:00.000-07:00

Its Midterm Week!!!! Hence the chocolate, the stress, the sugar, the late nights/early mornings, and ohhhh the coffee. Really its like the one time during the semester I really truly feel like a college student. It's not that I don't have tests and stuff the rest of the semester, but it is during this week that I begin to feel a little bit of stress and hence spend a bit more time studying or at least attempting to study. This week I had a music family tree due on Monday which I pretty much finished on Sunday night at like 1 am and then I proceeded to somehow loose the file for Monday morning, but i completed the project by class time. On Tues, I gave a group speech about Sudan and the civil war there: it went ok I think, then it was a biology test covering bones and muscles, of which i had to be able to identify several without the book, i did ok there, and then it was my ridiculous child psychology class, with another test that was better than last time but still not great, I will have to say though that I got the most out of his lecture last night than all of the other ones he has given up till this halfway point, and then today it was humanities for which i think i did ok, but i had to do things like name 3 impressionist painters and of course my mind went completely blank, all i could come up with was initials, we'll see how that goes over. :-)
And hence the title of this post.... getting up before 5 am to study leads to this.....
vitamin energy.... its a drink that i really enjoy, which doesn't give me the normal caffeine buzz but i do feel the energy, the can says nutrients are the new energy. I won't tell you the calorie content since I have absolutely no idea if its good or bad, but it does have 100% vit. c, vit. b3, b6, b12, b5 and folic acid..... so somehow it must be good for me!! and that's my advertisement for the month!! :-)
I was babysitting today and the 5 year old asked the most intriguing question over lunch. its unique how the thought provoking questions come out then, maybe because its the time that they really do have my undivided attention more than any other time.... who knows, so the 4 year old started the conversation with talking about how we could still be living when God came back (i didn't even know he knew that) and it took me a minute to connect and then I was like yes that's true... which then led to a conversation about salvation and how important it was to have Jesus in our hearts to go to heaven, which then led to the 5 year old asking me why and stating that Jesus would let even the people who didn't have Him in their hearts could go to heaven to, when I told him no, he was then wondering if Jesus didn't like them or something.....to which i only hope I said the right thing to his little heart. WOW.... you don't really expect to hear that sort of things out of the mouth of 4 and 5 year olds but I guess out of the mouth of babes.....
I am excited about moving away next fall ( don't ask where) but I am going to miss these kids like crazy.....
In other news.... I am so very glad tonight is the last debate for this presidential race... watching them just makes me want to throw the remote at the screen, and tell McCain what to say and Obama to please shut up already...... maybe someone should give McCain a vitamin energy, that would make for an interesting debate!!
i need to go now... i have to write a short paper on the effects of Motown on my life, which is somewhat tough because 1) i had never heard of them until a few weeks ago and 2) the only Motown song that I have ever heard (as far as I know) is My girl... how am i going to do that?? But its ok because the effects of the energy are kicking in and I think I can write this paper now.......
The effects of Vitamin Water!!!!!!:-) (not the picure)

Our Family picture taken last Sunday

The Good, the Great, the Bad, and well the not so great

2008-09-29T07:18:00.000-07:00

Here is a recent journal entry that I wrote that seems to epitamize me latley....
God has been sooo very good to me the last 21 years of my life,
here are 21 blessings of my life

The fact that I have lived 21 years
I have had a blessed life
I have an amazing family, i would want no other
My mom and dad are the bomb! (most of the time)
I have a great churhc to call home that I love
I have been able to travel the world
I have a roof over my head, and clothes and food
I have the ability, both physically and mentally to pursue my eduaction
I am happily, contentidly single
I have 2 good jobs, enough to pay all the bills
I have a great car
I am not persucuted for my faith
I have free will to choose
I can read my Bible and learn and grow
I am a good student with a good gpa
The ability to be homeschooled and grow from that
I have clear goals for my future
God has given me a purpose beyond me, for my life
I have been to Cambodia and Belize and I have a thirst for more
I have good friends,and I have great friends!!!
That JESUS CHRIST is my SAVIOR, my REDEEMER, and MY SALVATION!!!!!

I am blessed.....

Now comes the hard part....

I have this college choice that seems to be looming over my head, and i have no idea what to do.... Everyday almost there is some college sending me stuff....in fact the dining room table is covered... i have no idea what I am doing. There are the abvious rule-outs like they don't offer my major,or its not a christian college, but is it wrong or bad to rule a school out based on superficial things like the region, the setting, the weather.... I mean really do i want to go to school in New York or Michigan where it is colder than here or would i rather go to school in California or Texas and be warmer? Really can you say that you aren't even considering a school just based on the climate? I guess if I am miserable there it wouldn't really be worth it, would it?

Its not looking like the trip to the Operation Christmas Child warehouse will pan out this year. I am really sad about that, it makes my stomach hurt when I think about it. It is so incredibly hard to pray for God's will to be done, when what Nicole wants is so clear and it is always getting in the way. I will continue to pray for His will be done, but I will still desire to go. Who knows maybe it is a test that I am failing miserably at....

And that is a wrap for today, I need to go clean my room a bit and then get ready for school.... Have a blessed week serving Jesus Christ the Messiah, and if you get a chance listen to Chris Tomlin's cd Hello Love, I gurantee it will lift you up!!!!

Praise Jesus

Bodily fluids and art and music and sunshine

2008-09-10T11:09:00.000-07:00

FYI... the above title has nothing to do with each other... its just what came to mind... :-)

I am sitting outside at school right now, the sun is warm but when it goes away there is a chill. I guess I should resign myself to the fact that fall and winter (my most despised seasons) are coming, realy i don't get what the big deal about having 4 seasons it, I mainly hate 1 and really really dislike the other. I guess there is beauty in them for like a day or so and then I am done with them..... me thinks its time to move to a warmer climate year round... there are schools in CA too!!
School is going really well.... i discovered that I am good at a science after all the other day... after coming away with a not to great grade in bio last year, i really did not want to take another class but I need it to get my associates degree in nothing, so I signed up for human bio and lo on the very first test i got a 96. Granted it was open book but there was a lab component that was closed and we had to identify the parts of the reproductive system and that was closed book, out of that 20 I got one wrong!! WOOPY!! i am still pretty psyched about it all!! everything else is going pretty much good too!!
Which leads me to work and bodily fluids.... so if there is one thing I really dislike about babysitting it would be the bodily fluid part.....I don't really mind changing diapers that much, til they get too old, but last week for the better part of the week I had to deal with puke from 2 of the 3 kids, I HATE PUKE>>>>> it stinks and therefore i want to puke too...Basically anything the kids ate or drank last week ended up coming back up again.... finally on Friday I managed to get the 4 year old to do it in the toilet....much better....out of sight out of mind.....now this week the 2 yr old is doing the whole potty training thing... i reall don't like this too much either, but it beats changing her diapers all the time, she is finally getting it today but for a couple of days now there has been pee i not to great places... the funny thing is she takes her pant off and then she streaks the rest of the day...oh well it makes me laugh!!! I love them all anyways!!
My birthday is this sunday... i will be 21!! WOOT WOOT!! talk about feeling old but not really old.... i remember a time when 21 was like ancient.... not that i am almost there... wow.... what does one do for their 21st birthday... it seems like i should do somthing way sweet but what really??
Well I need to get going... I have music as a world phenomon class soon... and I need to finish up my art interpertaion of 3 pieces of music.... basically it ended up as chicken scratchings on a paper, as i am no artist..... but oh well....

Have a blessed week serving Jesus Christ the Messiah!!!

The brain is a curious thing....

2008-08-30T21:57:00.001-07:00

this song, i love it and it sorta in stuck mode right now.... I have found these lyrrics to be so incredibly true in my life... enjoy

I have been a wayward child, I have acted out,
I have questioned sovereignty, and had my share of doubts,
And though sometimes, my prayers feel like the mountain of the sky,
the hand that holds won't let me go, and is the reason why
I will stumble,
I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes,
I will face heartache,
But I will not be moved
On Christ the solid rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand,
I will not be moved
Bitterness has plagued my heart,
many times before,
My life has been a broken glass,
that I have kept restored,
of all my shattered dreams,
and though it seemed, that I was far too gone,
my brokenness helped me to see,
it's grace I'm standing on.
I will stumble,
I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes,
I will face heartache,
But I will not be moved
On Christ the solid rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand,
I will not be moved
And chaos in my life,
has been a badge of war,
and though I have been torn,
I will not be moved
I will make mistakes,
I will face heartache,
But i will not be moved
On Christ the solid rock I stand,
all other ground is sinking sand,
I will not be moved

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyEMJBhCtU8

Thank you Jesus for giving me the courage to face my convictions and for giving me the ability to stand firm and not be moved. I can truly say that it is only of you and not of my own power. And even if I fall and stumble, I know who holds tommorow, I know who will pick me up and carry me. Thank You Jesus

Times up...

2008-08-24T19:07:00.001-07:00

I will try very hard to make this shorter than the last one..... But currently i am at school and I am killing about 3 hours of time until my next class, actually it more like 2 hours now.
So i started back to school at Edison yesterday and so far so good, i have one more class that I haven't been too yet. so time will tell....
Lets see, my humanities prof, is like really young, but has a masters, and it one last years prof's sons. my world music class should prove to be interesting as we have to make some sort of musical instrument hmmmm... that prof easily gets distracted and looses his point. my communications prof is interesting to say the least :-) and my human biology prof i think i am going to really like a lot. now i have to do child psychology class.....
so i think it will proove to be an interesting semester with at least 2 artsy type classes...what was i thinking??? :-)
so if you don't really hear from me in the next 16 weeks, don't feel bad im just putting in 50 hour weeks between school, babysitting and walmart not counting homework....all in the name of my education of course and totally worth it. (i think) but actually i am have these little gaps most days so i might be able to still see you!!!

i think thats it for today....i am going to go find some food...i am starving.....and theres like a boston stoker with ice cream right next to me.....hmmmm

Have a blessed week serving Him!!

God is good!!

2008-08-17T18:23:00.000-07:00

"God is so good, God is so good, God is so good, He's so good to me." really its such a simple song i learned as a child and is yet so profound to my day. Today I witnessed 8 baptisms and knew of 2 others I could not attend. My 16 year old brother was one of those along with a couple of friends. And at the end of the day all I can really say is "God is good...All the time" I have loved watching my brother grow and blossom in the last year and in particular over the last few months. It was especially evident to me when we were up at Lake Erie. Maybe its because i spent more time with him than I have been able to of late. Today I have realized how much my family means to me. I love you Colin!!

Work at walmart is busier than ever. Inventory day is Wed. so basically every one is getting super stressed out about it. This week has the promise of possible extra hours that I won't have to cut(i hope). I am working an unscheduled day tomorrow, but hey I need the money and Tues also has the potential of working later than scheduled. All in the name of inventory.
But starting on Aug. 25th I am cutting back my hours and will only be working 20 or so hours instead of the 33 I have done over the summer.
August 25th is back to school day for me. and year number 2 at Edison. really its a good school to attend especially if you want to save money and keep your current job. But 1 year from now I will be to some unknown college to continue pursuing my bachelors degree in social work. I am excited about that time but I have a very large decision looming in front of me... which college to attend....there are so many. Pray for me..... This semester I am taking 16 credit hours....
Communications 121
Child Psychology
Human Biology
World Music
Humanities 121
So should be a fun semester..... I hope....
And on August 27th or around there, I am going back to babysitting in the mornings for 3 kids that I adore. I have missed them over the summer. I saw them on wed when i took the boys to the fair and they are getting so big especially the "baby" I am excited to get back to that.
So that will be my life for awhile now... Extremely full but very fulfilling.

Now on to something that is currently frustrating me.... why do they stop producing good tv shows.??? Recently I watched 2 different shows that I really liked only to find out they are no more.... oh it frustrates me so....
and one more completely random thing.... anyone who knows me well knows that I am totally in to photography, it just seems to capture so much and I love it. i love taking it (the dream is a digital slr!!) and owning it.to me it is the best kind of art there is. Its what I want hanging on my walls. i love people and kids and places and architect...i always wish i had more time and talent and opportunity to take the photos... anyways i enjoy finding photo blogs and seeing what others have to share, i can spend hours just enjoying the view through their eyes, recently i found this girl through josh harris blog because of the photos she did of his family and i continue to be amazed at her ability to capture people in their truest form and feelings for each other, so i thought i would share my favorite photo blog with you, in particular search for the Harris family... http://kristenleighphotography.blogspot.com/

And God has blessed my life today.
I watched God work in other peoples lives and confessions of faith, I saw my grandparents and family, I heard a wonderful sermon, I put a baby to sleep while holding him, I had food, I talked and played with a little girl, I saw the outward part of a persons faith whom I thought would never get to this place, i will find something new to watch, and at the end of the day all I can say is GOD IS SO GOOD TO ME!!

Finally something to write about.......

2008-08-11T15:10:00.000-07:00

I am now home... I have had my vacation... I am happy... and now i am ready to get back to working all the time and school soon...
The past week has been busy and relaxing and fun all at the same time... On Wednesday I went to see the doctor about this cold/respiratory congestion thing I had going on and he gave me the out I had been looking for for work so i could get a vacation... 2 days off starting on Wednesday, not exactly the time i wanted but it would do. So i went to see my manager and I told her about the 2 days but then i told her since i had worked Mon and Tues and it just made things worse maybe i could just take the rest of the week off and start back the next week as scheduled. and she said yes, which surprised me a bit, but i gladly took it. Then it was back home to pack up for the next 5 days of camping up on lake Erie!!!
We left early Thurs morning and arrived in Sandusky area around noon. The sun was shining and the weather was warm...what more could i ask for?
Surprisingly enough the water is actually warm and it is extremely shallow for a ways out.
Most days we had breakfast and would then hit the beach (which was a half mile from our campsite) and 11 or 12. Be there till 3 or so and then head back, shower and eat around 4 or 5. Oh i forgot about the quick nap i took between showering and eating!!! Always a bonus.

All in all this was a grand vacation to take on little money. We had water and sand and sun. what more could we ask for. I know it doesn't compare to myrtle beach or anything but it worked for me. I got away from work and I relaxed in the sun.
Now its back to work tomorrow, and school and my babysitting job starts in 2 weeks, and i think maybe I am finally just about ready for them.
And here are some pics...

Walking along the shore of Lake Erie

Brooke...the sun is bright...

Me... this is the best I could do...

Laina... doing what she does best I think..Making pankakes...they didn't work on the fire... Dad...the phone at the beach is important!!...
Bocce ball... the water level was low that day so we played in part water...Colin... he makes me laugh...

random

2008-07-28T13:15:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a very random post.....

I think I just about have this blog template done.... i created it myself and I had a ton of fun doing it!!! if i had endless time and endless money i would even think about taking some classes about stuff like that, I always wish i knew more about computer stuff like this...hmmmmm ps. let me know if its not working well for you....font, font color ect.

my mom and dad left me for a week to head off on this grand vacation on a beach with a warm ocean.... i try to not be jealous but thats sorta tough when i gotta stay home and work and stuff... we'll see if i get any sort of vacation before school starts... i really hope so....but at walmart because of this ONE inventory day in Aug. they are not really allowing us to take vacations or anything, but i talked to my manager and she playing hard, but i am hoping i can convince her to let me go for 6 days.....pray here cause i really need those days away.....

i found this recipe for tim hortans iced caps!!!! i am super excited cause i love them.... i even think my mom would like this recipe..not to sweet or anything, but i added cool whip which just made it perfect for me..... oh i also found a recipe for chipotle chicken and the chipotle rice...... i hate cooking really but i figure if i can replicate my favorite dishes at restuarants than it might be worth it.... on second thought....maybe i will just give them to mom to make!!!!!!

FYI..... this is where I was exactly 2 years ago today... wrapping up a trip I wish i could go on again..... i miss it.... Cambodia with Samaritans Purse, July 2006

Angkor Wat

Me, Krystal, Rachel

.......I miss you both so very much......

and life goes on.... this trip gave me such a great perspective and if it wasn't for cambodia i probably would not be where i am today. God used me, stretched me, and taught me more about myself, He gave me a dream and an ambition there, that today I am following and I am so grateful to Him for it. and to my family who supports my dreams no matter where they may lead!!
Thank You Jesus!!!

Things Hidden...

2008-07-12T21:25:00.000-07:00

Let me beginn by saying that I have had one of the best, most hectic, crazy, challenging,fun, exhausting, awesome weeks ever. I only wish I had pictures to share some the excitment! The past 5 days, Monday through Friday was vacation Bible school at my church. Our theme was Things Hidden taking from the parables that jesus told about the treasure, the seeds, the prodigle son, and the lost sheep/coin. I was a small group leader for kids ages 3-6 but I ended up with 5 girls and 1 boy on Monday, 3 girls on Tuesday, 6 girls on Wednesday, 6 girls and 1 boy on Thursday, and 8 girls on Friday. These girls ranged in ages of about 4-5 years old. and it was an energizing blast!!!!!!! Most nights they had more energy than could be contained, and yet I still smile. :-)
Generally our night went something like this.... worship time for about 10 minutes, which i had one girl want more of...split up of older and younger kids with the younger kids being taught by Danny, and one girl loved to inject the funniest yet sometimes quite truthful things...small group time led by yours truly,more later here...craft time, it was crazy but in the end they have little treasure chests filled with the greatest treasure, Gods word...game time, playtime, orchastrated games didn't really happen here for this age group, it became more of a free for all type of thing...snack time, with things like cookies, icecream, goldfish,popcorn, and lemonade...and finally wrap up, talking about what we learned and saying the nights memory verse several times together... and then I got to go home...
Being a small group leader was an amazing opportunity and every night i truly felt the weight of the responsibility I was carrying and every night I had to give it back to God, because the only thing He wanted me to do was to point the girls to the Cross and let Him do the rest. Most nights we would talk about what Danny had talked about and at times I was amazed at what the girls would remember and what they would pull out. One of my greatest struggles though was the short attention spans they had, and finally by the last night I figured out a way to sort of capture their attention at least for 2 minutes. :-) Each night we would have questions to ask the kids, although for my age group we had to rephrase a lot of them to help them understand. Some of what I remember their conclusions being.... they likened the treasure first to Jesus which turned into a disscussion about heaven. the parable of the seeds turned into a talk about hearts, when asked what kind of heart they had one girl said red! which i guess is true, another said hers was black, at least when she gets angry. so we talked about having red soft hearts like the soft soil. On Tuesday night I decided to let the girls pray for whatever if they wanted to, to my surprise(who knows why?) one or two of them did and every night after that when we had barely gotten started one of them always wanted to know if it was time to pray, because she wanted to. And they had very sweet prayers that at times even incorporated parts of the message.
Still even through all of this i felt inadequate to lead these kids. Some of them I don't think even attended church which made the burden that much greater to show them the way to the cross. But I pray that I did, I pray that I made an impression that planted seeds in their young hearts that will lead them to the next person in their lives who will also point them to the cross.
Who am I but a sinner saved by grace and I pray that these girls could see Jesus through my attitudes and my actions. The rest is up to their heavenly Father.
We had a great time jumping up and down in worship, chasing balls and kids across the field, painting and decorating treasure chests, pulling a rope for tug-of-war, saying memory verses,trying to get Nicole to stand up by pulling her legs and arms up in the air, and worst/best of all piling on top of Nicole and tickling her to the point of rolling on the floor.:-)
I love you girls, I will never forget....
Jesus I give you these children, Erin, Kayden, Harley, Phoebe, Lilly, Kaily, Caiden, Cheyenne, Jonathan, Priscilla, and Bailey...show them the True Treasure of You...

The fight for faith and VBS

2008-07-07T08:04:00.000-07:00

I find myself in this truly strange place of feeling totally inadequate to do VBS this week at my church. I am going to be a small group leader for kids ages 3-6 and yet I am scared to put it simply. But why i wonder? All my life I have dealt with kids and I have loved most of it. But maybe its because I am stepping out of my own little comfort zone, out of my box and this time I have to make it count. Its weird really because I don't remember being this concerned in Belize or Cambodia, and yet it seems like I should have been. Maybe the laungage barrier makes that difference. I go, I play, I pass out gifts, I play, I smile and I leave. There is no conversation because I cannot speak their language and yet I find myself saying Jesus loves you little one. and I only hope it made a difference....and now I am here and I am at my church and I am just a bit nervous but I am trying to remember the purpose I have....For Jesus and for the cross...... SO i am praying that God will equip me and all of us helping to point these children to the cross and to show them a small portion of Jesus in our own attitudes and actions.
This morning I was going over my notes from NA and I came across John Pipers message, "Fighting for faith with Gods Word" and somehow it struck me as what I needed in light of VBS.
1. the fight for faith is a mortal fight to the death.
2. the fight of faith is a fight for joy.
- John 1:12, it is not enough to know Him as Savior, as a utility but as a treasure.
- Matt 13:44, conversion is stumbling on the treasure of Christ
- Believing in the treasure
- Believing the gospel in its fullness means treasuring Jesus
3. We fight for faith not to get God to be 100% for us but because He is 100% for us
4. the fight for faith is a fight to see Christ
hmmm makes me think I should go and relisten to this message, I know that over the course of NA it spoke to me the most.

God will work and He will do His mighty thing for us..... and suddenly after writing this I find myslef not so ill-equipped as I felt before. With God on our side, who can be against us?

2008-06-30T16:27:00.000-07:00

Jesus is the true and better Adam
who passed the test in the Garden, His Garden, a much tougher garden, and whose obedience is imputed to us.

Jesus is the true and better Abel
who though innocently slain has blood that cries out not for our condemnation, but for our acquittal.

Jesus is the true and better Abraham
who answered the call of God, to leave all the comfortable and familiar and go into the void, not knowing whither He went.

Jesus is the true and better Isaac
who was not just offered up by His Father on the mount, but was truly sacrificed for us all. While God said to Abraham, "Now I know you love me because you did not with hold your son, your one and only son, whom you love from me," now we, at the foot of the cross can say to God, "Now we know that you love me, because you did not with hold your Son, your only Son, whom You love, from me."

Jesus is the true and better Jacob
who wrestled and took the blow of justice we deserved so that we, like Jacob, only receive the wounds of grace, that wake us up and discipline us.

Jesus is the true and better Joseph
who is at the right hand of The King and forgives those who betrayed and sold Him and uses His power to save them.

Jesus is the true and better Moses
who stands in the gap between the people and the Lord and who mediates a New Covenant.

Jesus is the true and better rock of Moses
who struck with the rod of God's justice now gives us water in the desert.

Jesus is the true and better Job
who is the truly Innocent Sufferer who then intercedes for and saves His stupid friends.
Is that a type? See this is not a type, it's an instinct.

Jesus is the true and better David
who's victory becomes the people's victory, though they never lifted a stone to accomplish it themselves.

Jesus is the true and better Esther
who didn't just risk losing an earthly palace, but lost the ultimately heavenly one. Who didn't just risk His life, but gave His life. Who didn't just say, "If I perish, I perish," but said, "When I perish, I'll perish for them, to save My people."

Jesus is the true and better Jonah
who is cast out into the storm so that we could be brought in.

He's the real Passover Lamb.
He's the True Temple.
The True Prophet.
The True Priest.
The True King.
The True Sacrifice.
The True Lamb.
The True Light.
The True Bread.

4 weeks....

2008-06-20T21:55:00.000-07:00

So tonight I was thinking out 4 weeks ago tonight I was at work and then I came home and began to prepare to go to NA in Louisville, with some good friends. Man how I wish I could go back to that. Its been a long 4 weeks with good and bad days. But as a friend reminded me this 4 weeks also means we are 4 weeks closer to next years NA!!!!
Here is a thought from NA and Josh Harris....
"God's word meets us right where we are...in the midst of doubt, God's word speaks perfectly even when you are not perfect.....
I am made to KNOW Him, WORSHIP Him, and DELIGHT in Him."
"Your words were found and I ate them and they became for me a joy and a delight" jer 15:16

2008-06-08T20:35:00.000-07:00

Hey....
Soooo i am now creating one more blog type thingy.... i used to use blogspot once upon a time but i am not sure what happened to that.......
Soon I will write about NA, my car, and lots of other cool stuff....
take care my friends.....
Nicole